The Things I Couldn't Say (CartmanxButters)

The Picnic

I stared at him, his beautiful face, his soft features, his small frame. I stared in awe and disbelief that such a beautiful creature was so close to me, cuddling my side.

He sighed softly, and hugged me closer. I loved the feeling of him being so close to me, I didn't feel as alone as I usually do. It was nice to have some company.

Especially Butters's company.

"Mmmmm........... Eric?" Butters looked up at me with his innocent baby blue eyes. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," I answer simply. "Do you feel okay? Did those boys hurt you?"

"Well I'm fine, but I wouldn't've been if you didn't rescue me! You're like Mario!"

"So you're the princess?" I chuckled and raised my eyebrows.

"Why yes, yes I am!" He laughed and gave me a giant hug.

I smiled down at him. "Well I guess Princess Kenny has some competition." He was so sweet, and kind.

Dear god I love him.

"So Eric," Butters got up and threw me a shirt and some pants. "You better get ready, because today we're going out! Just the two of us!"

"Going.......out?"
Like....... A date?
Please let this be date.
Wait, please DON'T let this be a date!
I'M SO FUCKING CONFLICTED!!

"Yeah! I have to thank you for saving me somehow!" He smiled widely.

Oh. Not a date. Cool.

"That sounds awesome!! Where should we go?" I fill my voice with fake enthusiasm. I like spending time with Butters so I try not to let him know I'm a bit disappointed. 

"Well, let's see...... OH I KNOW!!! We can have a big picnic at Starks Pond! We can stay there all day!" He was jumping up and down now, obviously excited.

A whole day with Butters? Why would I say no?

"That sounds great! If you go downstairs my mom'll probably give you some food while I get dressed. See ya in a minute." I begin to put on my pants.

"See you soon, Eric." he closed the door behind him.

After putting on some nice clothes and fixing my hair I walk down the steps to see my mother serving up some pancakes.

"Eric, what a nice little friend you have! He says he wants to take you out on a picnic today!" She chirped as she gave us each some food.

"Yeah, that's the plan." I say, my mouth full. "I won't be back until later."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier, sweetie?" She asked.

"Well that's my fault." Butters looked down at his plate. "Ya see, I ran into some real bad people last night, and Eric saved my life! So, I thought I'd make it up to him."

"Eric...." she stared at me. "That's so nice of you!"

"Thanks mom." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh hamburgers, we should get going!" Butters grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door.
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TIME SKIP
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"Isn't it beautiful out?" Butters signed as we walked around, trying to find the perfect place to set up our picnic. "Ooohh, look over here!" He sat on a bright green patch of grass in the sun. "It's perfect!"

"Yeah," I mumbled, staring at his happy expression. "Perfect."

We sat there all day, talking about everything and nothing, just anything that popped into our heads. It was nice, talking, joking, laughing, actually enjoying life.

"Eric look!" Butters pointed to a couple. One of them got on one knee and held up a small box. The other nodded and hugged them.

"Yes, Jackson, I WILL marry you!"

"I love you Samantha!"

"I love you too!"

"Isn't it cute Eric? They're so in love..." He rested his head on my shoulder. "I wish that someday someone will love me like that...." He looked kinda.... sad.

"Butters, do you see all the stars in the sky?" I pointed upwards at the night sky.

"Y-Yeah." He stuttered.

"How many are there?"

"Well gee, there's too many to count!"

"Someday, some one will love you more than the number of stars in space. I know it."

"You think so? That's awful sweet of you, Eric!" He hugged my side and I wrapped an arm around him.

A little while later we packed up the picnic and were walking back to Butters's house. He didn't want to go alone so I happily volunteered to walk with him.

"Hey Butters?" I ask him suddenly. I've had enough waiting, he needs to know how I feel about him. Who knows, maybe he'll feel the same.

"Yeah Eric?" His blonde hair framed his face perfectly and the streetlights cast a soft light on his figure. He looked so......perfect.

Now was the time.

"I lo-"

"Hey Butters! Hey Fatass!"

GOD DAMNIT KENNY!!

"Oh hey Kenny!" Butters walked over to him and was lifted up as Kenny swung him around and hugged him.

"Hey Butsy! What are you and Cartman doing together?" He looked at me skeptically.

"I'm walking him home." I snap at him.

"Well I'm here, so you can go now. You aren't exactly the best person to be around." He glared at me, and I stuffed my hands in my pockets and turned to leave.

"Eric, wait!" Butters called to me.

I turned around and looked at him.

"What were you going to say?"

"Oh, I..." I looked at Kenny and sighed. "I had a lot of fun today. Thanks."

"No problem! See ya soon, Eric!"

"Yeah, see ya." I walked back home.

"How was your day, honey?" My mom greeted me as I walked in the house. I gave her the empty picnic basket and ran up to my room.

I punched a pillow and ripped it in half. Why did Kenny have to show up?!?! Everything was perfect and he ruined it!! I was just about to tell him and Kenny walked in and said 'Piss off fatass no one likes you fuck you hahahahha!'

Why can't anything work out for me?!?! IT ISN'T FAIR!!!! Maybe I could...... maybe.....

Fuck, this is all my fault.

First there was one tear, then another, and soon hundreds of them rolled down my face and onto the floor.

"I'm so fucking stupid!" I yelled at myself. How could I think that anyone could ever love me? He's probably better off with Kenny anyway. No one as perfect as him could love a monster like me.

Why am I like this?!? What made me into this horrifying mess? Can I change, or am I really a hopeless mistake? Most importantly, how can I stop this pain? How can I stop wanting what I can never have?

I slumped down onto the floor. Why can't I be happy? Why can't I be the hero who saves everyone?

I guess it's just my destiny. I am Eric Cartman, a creature with the mind of a beast and the emotions of a man.

And I am destined to cry and suffer because no one can tame me.

Because people like me don't get happy endings.