Alpha & Luna

Chapter 30

I wake up to the sounds of arguing  between Sebastian and Brian and for a moment I'm disorientated. I look to  the digital clock on the night stand and find that it's 11:24 am. Sebastian should be at work right about now. What is he doing still-

Suddenly, my brain is bombarded with images from the days before. And I remember everything. Every single gut wrenching memory plays out inside my head and I want it to stop but it doesn't. My wolf whines in my head. She and I both don't want to see this. My breathing becomes choppy and my body tenses up. Immediately, the arguing from outside the door ceases and muffled footsteps on the floor signal someone's arrival. My mate.

"Leslie, are you awake, baby?" Sebastian says from beside my body. He presses my hand to his stubbled jaw and whispers brokenly, "Please wake up."

But I don't open my eyes. I don't want to see his face and love him any more. I don't want to see the broken emotion in his eyes that I can hear coming through his voice. So I force my breathing to even out and pretend to slip back into sleep. The coward's way, no doubt. But the only way I'll survive this moment.

"Is she awake?" Brian whispers from the threshold.

"No." Sebastian whispers back and I can feel his eyes studying my face. But I force myself to relax even with my wolf crying out in my head. My hand is still held to his jaw and I can't make up my mind as to whether I want to scratch him or caress him. So I choose neither.

"She's been asleep for a week now. Sometimes, I'm worried she won't wake up. What'll I do then? What'll I do without you?" Sebastian says as his hand strokes my cheek. It's hard not to react to his touch but somehow I manage.

"She'll wake up. Doctor says she's in shock is all. Her body's just giving her time to heal." Brian says and from his voice I can tell he's standing beside Sebastian.

"How long has it been since you've slept? Or eaten for that matter." Brian asks. I wait for a reply but I hear none.

"Did Pauline come by? Did she see you like this? What did she say?" Brian asks and this time I can hear frustration and anger in his voice.

"Both of you need to get off my back." Sebastian says as he strokes my cheek.

"Get off your back?! Have you seen yourself, Seb? You look like a dead man walking! I'm your best friend and Beta. So fuck you if you think I'm leaving you alone. And do you think Leslie would be happy to see you like this? Get it together man." Brian says and now I'm fighting with myself not to open my eyes. I want to see what's happened to Sebastian.

"Fuck you! You don't think I want to be better?! I wish with every bone in my body that this didn't happen! That I didn't fucking murder my mate's brother! But I can't take it back and now my mate and child are lying unconscious on my bed and it's eating me alive man! I feel like I'm dying every day she doesn't wake up! So fuck you! Fucking get out Brian or I'll rip your head off!" Sebastian roars. I hear no answer; just footsteps and then the sounds of the door opening and closing.

And for this moment, we're alone. Sebastian's breathing slowly evens out and then silence as he stares at me. Suddenly, I feel him rest his head on my stomach and his arms reach around me to hold me to him.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." His words are muffled but I understand them completely and I wish they were enough. But they aren't. Nothing he can say can undo what he's done. Nothing. And my heart shatters into pieces.

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Somehow we both fall asleep and sometime later I wake up to the colours of dusk streaking through our bedroom window. It looks so beautiful and for a moment I can pretend that all is right in the world. My brother's not dead. My mate didn't kill him and my body and soul aren't broken.