Second Chances

Lets talk

I blink my eyes a couple of times as I start to wake up, I feel better than did when I feel asleep. My crying jig did me in, my eyes still feel swollen and puffy. However I think it was something I really needed I feel light inside, like I let some deep well of sadness go, and I realize I never really mourned their loss the first time. I had just buried it deep inside me and the thought of losing them again brought it to the surface.

Once I realize this I feel better about my breakdown, I go to stretch and suddenly discover that I can't move. Logan is wrapped completely around me and is holding me close like he plans to never let me go.

He has one leg flung possessively over me, with the other wedged between mine, and our feet tangled together. One of his arms is under me and the other one over me clutching me to him tightly. My back is pressed against his front, and I can feel his warm breathe on the back of my neck.

I snuggle back into his warm embrace, I want this feeling to never end. I know it will once I tell them that I'm in love with all of them.

"Are you awake cupcake?" Logan groggy voice comes, letting me know he's starting to wake up as well. I want to pretend that I'm still sleeping but know that I need to let him go.

"Yes" I whisper sadly.

He places a lingering kiss on the back of my neck and slowly starts unwinding himself from me. I resist the urge to beg him to stay.

Logan gets out of the bed and holds his hand out for me to take. I reluctantly grab it and helps me out of bed. He squeezes my hand gently, almost comfortingly, like he knows why I am upset, before he lets me go. I wait while he puts his clothes on, saying a silent goodbye to that handsome chest I had just been cuddling against, he finishes dressing and taking my hand again starts tugging me out into the living room.

Aiden and Kyle are sitting on my couch watching t.v., but they shut it off when they hear my bedroom door open. Logan lets go of my hand and joins them sitting on the coffee table nearby. They all turn to look at me, I guess this is it I think, forlornly, bracing myself for the talk.

I look around trying to figure out the best place to sit, but before I can make a decision I'm being pulled into Aiden's lap. Not expecting it I end up landing kind of hard, and let out a squeak of surprise.

"Sorry," he whispers against my ear. The dark chuckle in his tone and the way he is so intimately holding me tells me he isn't really sorry at all. I try to squirm out of his embrace, but his arm across my stomach is like an iron bar, holding tightly like he isn't ever letting go.

I know after I say what I need to he will be letting go soon enough. So I stop squirming with as sad sigh as I am again hit with a pang of heartache. I don't know how I'm going to let them go again. I know I should just pull away and get this over with but I'm week and I relax into his hold. Embracing the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around me, so similar and yet so different from the way Logan and Kyle hold me, even though it will kill me later I snuggle into his hold.

Kyle stands up and points to me. "You are going to sit right there," he sternly tells me. "You are going to let us talk, listen to us, and then if you still feel the need to talk, then it'll be your turn. The last time you talked first, you left us," he says sadly.

I nod, I hadn't given them the true reason I ran so many years before so it must have hurt them when I left like I did. I have no reason to argue about them talking to me first. It's not like it will matter anyway, I think sadly.

"I'll go first and you need to listen, really listen to me, to us." he adds spreading his hands in a silent plea. When I don't say anything, he takes a deep breath and continues.

"Grace, you mean everything to me. I'm in love with you and always have been. Probably since I found you on that swing set alone. These last few weeks, though rough, have made me the happiest I've been in five years."