She's A Fighter (ON HOLD)

She's a Fighter; Prologue

“I need you to be okay. I need you to stay safe.... not that I need you or anything...”

Her face was serious when she began talking, but now had a stupid smirk on her face with a slight blush. I give her a wry smile.

I stare at Faye and take in all her features; her jet black hair and deep blue eyes that could persuade you to do just about anything. Her eyes reminded me of him. You’d think the memory of him is the last thing I’d think about.... but not with Faye.

I took another glance at the girl who I consulted about almost everything. Even though she would never fully understand what I’ve been and am going to be going through, she sure as hell understood better than most people. She was basically my psychiatrist per say. Oh and my best friend too, I guess.

I realized I was staring at her too long, while she waited for an answer.

“Aye! You okay?”

She didn’t know if I was spacing out, or having an episode. It’s been really hard to tell lately, even I couldn’t tell the difference.

“Me? You’re the one paranoid...”

I know she worried about me occasionally, even if she wasn’t one to show it.

I gave her a disgusted look on my face while saying, “Well. What happened? You’re the one all mushy today.”

“Har, har, har,” she said, with an annoyed look on her face then smiles at me in amusement.

Faye wasn’t one to express her feelings... not even to me. Yet I yearned for her opinion more than almost anyone’s. Except him. Faye and I never had that cliche “oh my gosh, i love you bestfriend” type of relationship. I liked what we had. I mean I liked when she was particularly nice, but it was so rare. Almost alien-like.

“You know I’m trying... trying to be okay. In general... and with the fact that he left.”

I drift off and walk near the window and prop myself on top of the sill. Faye stays silent, but patiently listens.

“It’s gotten better but sometimes I can’t control it.Waking up at like 4am shaking, but realizing he isn’t there. Or hearing his voice telling me a corny joke only I would understand and to be honest, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m having an episode or I’m just sad. And I DON’T KNOW that he’s not there. Sometimes I swear he is there. Sometimes the line between reality and fantasy blur, and I don’t know if my mind will let me know the difference.”

I grab my knees tight to my chest. She comes up to me and strokes my dark brown hair. She and I avoid eye contact, trying to avoid me from breaking down into tears.

“but you gotta keep fighting. Isn’t that what you’re known for?” she says jokingly.

“I mean I haven’t been asked by the producers of the UFC to fight for them, or try out for the Olympics boxing team... nope not me.”

“There you go. That’s the spirit. That’s the annoying,argumentative Carter I know.”

“ha ha ha.” I shake my head amusingly.