Deep Regression

No Turning Back

Chapter Playlist: You're Worth It by Joseph Trapanese from the movie Insurgent.

I can't seem to find a way to tell Peter how I feel, someone please Help me!
Every now and then he brings a girl home and well...make me jealous as fuck! But! I have brought guys home plenty of times too and tried to get him jealous, I don't think it's working...
I'm cutting through a piece of celery and I look down at the blade, the shiny silver blade that is so tempting. Just one swift movement, and your dead.
"How's it going today?" His voice interrupts me.
I shake my head mentally and put on a half smile. Continue cutting and just act normal.
"Good, you?"
"Terrible." He frowns and I turn my attention down to him.
"Why? You sounded like you got laid through the walls last night."
"Ya, well, it all means nothing really."
"Nothing?" My eyes scrunch in confusion.
"I guess...I'm waiting."
"For?"
"The right person." his voice so soft, and I didn't look over to him.
"Yup, well I have to go."
"Go?" His eyebrows scrunch.
"Yup, date with the doctor tonight."
"Oh, well, you don't look like the doctor kind of date."
"What?" I clean up my cutting mess and listen intently.
"I just can't see you with a doctor."
"Mhm, well I have to leave."
"Okay, I'm just going to hang out in my room watching a movie."
"Bye."
I grab my keys and exit out the front door. This plan has to work, I need to know, and I need to know now.
Slowly I close the door and leave it part way open. Waiting for the opportunity to open it and sneak into my room.
Peter lets a breath of air go as he walks to his bedroom. He looked somewhat...Depressed.
I listen and hear the click of his door shut, MOVE! My feet run like hell to my room quietly and open my door silently. Shutting it to how I think I left it so that it doesn't look out of place.
I watch through the crack in my door and hear him come back out of his room. I assume he's going to the kitchen, but he makes a weird move, he's heading to my room, why is he coming here?
I quickly hide in the back of my closet and shut the door slightly so I can still see him.
I hear my door open and then he appears. What the hell is he doing?
His laptop in hand as he sits down on MY bed. What is he doing in here? I told him not to go in here!
Peter opens his computer and unlocks it. I look at the screen savor and just about do a double take.
IS THAT ME?!?!
There's a girl in bed with her head on a muscular arm, and she has the blanket covering her naked body up.
THAT IS ME! He has a picture of ME on his laptop?
"I'm such a fucking screw up." He whispers to himself.
What?
He opens his photo library and I see a couple more pictures of me. He has me on his laptop?
My heart kind of swelled, and stuttered at this fact.
He grabs his phone and begins a text message with someone. Does Peter still like me?
I hear a ring come from my phone and I immediately try to silence it, but it's too late. Peter's digging in my closet.
He moves shoes, pants stacked neatly, shirts, bras, and then hanging clothes. What should I do?!? What can I do?!?!
He chuckles deeply and I know he found me "Well...It seems as if the closet has grown legs and feet."
I remain silent as I wait for him to find more of me.
"Selena, what the hell are you doing home? I thought you were supposed to be on a date." I can hear the disappointment and yet the excitement in his voice.
He found me, game over.
"Your not a screw up." I whisper.
"Yes I am." He counters softly.
"No, but I'm curious as to why you are in my room?"
He's about to speak, but then closes his mouth. Caught him red handed in an act of...cliche.
"Well, your about this tall."
He brings his hand to about my height and then begin moving clothes.
"Your left eye is here." He points to it and I see his smile.
He's actually not mad? He's smiling wider and wider, showing all of his white teeth. I never knew how beautiful his smile was until now.
"Your right eye is...There." He points to it through the clothes and I wait for the next feature.
I have so much I want to tell him, but I just want him to find me.
"Here's your nose." He pokes the point of it and I brush it away.
His touch feels so good. His smile disappears slightly and then he backs up from the closet with his arms crossed.
"Alright, I found you Selena, come out." His voice soft and gentle.
"Not my lips."
I choke on my breathing afterwards. I watch through the slits in the clothes at him. His breathing changes, and he takes two steps forward. The slight sound of a large gulp is deeply gratifying. Peter's smell of a sweet meadow, consuming me.
"Is that what I still need to find?" His voice cutting off at the end.
"Yes." I exact what I want from him.
I want his deliriously delicious lips against mine.
His hands spread two side of my closet open slowly until I can feel the sun on my skin. I can no longer see him or his reactions.
Peter's slow heavy breathing on my face was all it took for me to know that he was inches away. My hand reaches out and touches his abs through his cotton shirt.
He takes in a sharp breath and I trail it up to his neck. Peter is solid underneath my touch, but while he's calm, I'm racing with my heart.
I feel his hand at my cheek and his thumb trailing slowly along my lips. I gasp at the feelings mixing inside my heart. I was anxious, excited, happy, lust filled, and...loved.
I can feel his shadow inch closer and I now his lips are probably apart. What is he waiting for?
"Peter...Kiss me...I want this...please." I huff into him.
"Selena, if we go down this road-"
"No turn backs." I finish for him.
"No turn backs." He repeats as his answer to us.