Deep Regression

ALL MY FAULT!

Chapter Playlist: Bound to you by: Burlesque, You haven't seen the last of me By Burlesque

"Tell me more about yourself." I need to know him better.
"What do you want to know?" He smiles back at me.
"Who are your parents?"
Peter leans in more and traces over my lips with the tip of his finger.
"Melissa and George Codat."
"Codat?"
"I know, Pretty Fucked up right?"
"No, I think it's unique, like us."
"Selena, Tell me your secret."
"No." I playfully respond to his smile.
"Yes." He pushes back.
"No, What's your favorite color?"
"Blue."
"Man, what a color."
He laughs and his finger drops from my lips.
"Yours?"
"Green."
"Thought so, Now please, I'm dying to know your secret."
"Tell me that I'm all you want." I whisper to him as the pain from my story erupts inside me.
"Selena, I adore you, and your little mysteries."
"Will you lay with me?" I crack.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Please."
He nods solemnly and carefully lays down beside me on the couch. Eye to eye, nose to nose, lips to lips, and chest to chest.
"You know how much you've broken down today?" I ask him with my eyes glassing over.
"I think I have an idea." He wipes a couple tears away and I can't help but laugh a little.
"Peter, will you kiss me?"
"Not if it means that you'll pull away at the end."
"You'll be the last to pull away."
"Good."
He traces my lips again and every time his finger crosses over my bottom lip, I lightly kiss it. Peter hasn't made a move yet though. I'm beginning to get antsy.
"Peter." I softly whisper.
He just stares into my eyes and I stare right back. I guess it's up to me. My hand snakes up behind his neck and I kind of hint at him to kiss me. Alright, alright, it wasn't a little hint, it was a huge one. I pulled his lips closer to mine and I lightly kiss his bottom lip. I feel his body relax and heat up.
Peter pulls me in closer and leans in more. It was just one of those slow, passionate, kisses that every girl dreams of having, but can't get.
His lips pull back and then kiss mine again and again. I let my mindless fingers trail over his body and under his shirt.
He takes in a sharp breath, and pulls away. His eyes holding a indescribable feeling, lust.
"Okay, Tell me." He gets more comfortable next to me and I sigh.
"After that, you want me to get sad again?"
"Yup, now begin."
"Now who's the bossy one."
Peter grabs ahold my hand and holds it over his beating heart.
"I was twelve, it was raining, and maybe it wasn't the smartest decision to go driving."
I drift off into the memory, describing everything to him.
"Hey, Let go!" I scream at my brother.
"Michael." Mom groans.
He looks over at her and let's me be. Dads driving somewhat slower than 60, and all eyes are on the road.
He makes me feel protected, just by how cautious he is. Mom is the worried one, and everyone else is pretty much...FEND FOR YOURSELF.
My siblings aren't the best role models, then again, neither am I.
Suddenly my toy is ripped from my hands and it's in Michael's hands. He taunts me and pushes me with it.
"GIVE IT BACK!" I scream.
"MICHEAL." Moms voice booms over.
"And then my world just turned upside down, completely destroyed."
Peter's eyes still staring into mine and pulling me closer and closer.
"SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL TURN THIS CAR-"
"A car from the other lane slide into ours and slam us into the mountain's side. Sparks flew and ignited in the engine, but that's what I was told anyways."
I begin to feel the weight of it again and I just sob into Peter. I sob for them, because it was all my fault! All of it!
"AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!" I sob hard into his shirt.
The pain from Kevin's kicks burning into my waist.
"No, no it's n-"
"It hurts so goddamn much Peter, all of it."
He kisses the top of my head.
"I'm a murderer." I whisper through my shortage of breaths.
"Selena, listen to me, it's not your fault, It's no ones fault. Just a weather condition accident. Do you hear me?"
"Yes it is!"
"No it's not! Because I did not fall in Love with a murderer, I fell in love with a complicated, mysterious, loving, caring, sexy, and beautiful woman. I fell in Love with a fighter whose only choosing the hard knock out. It's time to realize that it wasn't your fault, okay?"
I try and pull it together.
"You think I'm beautiful?"
"Out of everything I said, that's what you choose to hear?!" He's laughing.
"Peter, You love me?"
He smiles wider and pulls me in for a soft kiss. I sigh into it and let him consume me.