Deep Regression

Stay, Peter

Oh god, it's happening, I'm leaving him, and my heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest and thrown in the dirt.
My tears profoundly streaming down my cheeks as I touch my metal handle and it stings my hand.
"Selena! Where are you going?" Peter's voice behind me.
"I need to breathe Peter." I whisper back.
"Did I do something?"
I turn around and see his concerned expression. I'm hurting him, I've been hurting him, and it's time to make him happy again.
"Of course not! I'm sorry Peter, but I can't."
"You can't what?"the confusion hidden behind the worry.
The metal band on my finger slowly slides off my finger, and I watch his expression change  to a horror sadness.
Peter's hands grip onto mine and try to keep the wedding ring on my finger.
"NO! NO! YOUR NOT LEAVING ME!" He yells through anger, hurt, and pleas.
"I'm sorry Peter. I'm only hurting you if I stay."
"Your only killing me if you go!"
"I love you, I always will, and I meant what I said last night. I want kids with you."
"DO NOT LEAVE!"
I rip my hands slowly out of his and walk to the door.
My back to him as my hand touches yet another cold handle.
"Stay." He yells to me.
"I wish I could."
The door opens, but before I can take another step out of it, I'm whiplashed back around to him.
His eyes connected to mine instantly.There's no way for me to look away.
"Listen, I know I haven't been the roughest sex partner-"
"Peter, it's not that!" I cry out, it's not his fault.
"And I may have been a jerk a couple of times to you-"
"Peter-"
"My Dads an ass and I know that you could be with a thousand other partners better than me-"
"PETER! Your my dream husband! DONT YOU GET IT? IF I STAY IM HURTING YOU!"
"I'll kill myself." He threatens back.
Shock crawls over me, he didn't say that...he wouldn't say that...
"N-n-no, You can't say that!"
I flash my fury and all my concern for him.
"Yes I can! I will, because your my reason for living!" He yells deeply and ruggedly back.
"I won't let you. Peter, do you hear me, I won't allow it!" I stand my ground.
He lets my hand go and walks into the kitchen. No...no...this can't be happening...not again!
Peter grabs a kitchen knife from the set his Aunt gave him.
"If you love me, Save me." He plainly states.
"Pet-"
It's too late though. Slowly I watch as the sharp painful knife slices the air towards him.  I should have been glued to the floor in shock, I should've been silent, but I was neither.
My feet bolted towards him as my mouth screamed out his name.
"PETER!"
I grab ahold of the blade and it ends up slicing my palm. A sharp pinch comes from my hand and I gasp as Peter's eyes widen at the sight of my blood. Oh god.
"Selena, Why did you grab the blade?!" He yells as he drops the knife and wraps his arm around my body.
His other hand applies pressure to my cut and I wince in pain.
"I couldn't just let you stab yourself."
"Selena, I need to get you to a hospital."
"No, I'll be fine."
"Come here." He pulls my hand in our sink and turns on the water.
"Really, it's okay."
"So if I were to press my hand on it, it wouldn't hurt?" He smirks over at me.
"Nah-"
His hand moves to my wound.
"STOP! Yes okay, it would."
"Alright then, I'm going to wash it out and then dress it."
"Why are you so good to me when I'm about to leave you?"
Peter sighs long and deep, I've struck a nerve.
"Sorry." I usher first.
"It's fine."
Peter opens a drawer near the sink and pulls out a first aid kit.
"I didn't know we had one."
"We do, I bought one after I accidentally cut my cheek shaving."
"Oh."
"There's a few things you don't know." he continues on with my absent mind conversation.
"Really..."
"Yup, You don't know that even though you think you've been hurting me our entire relationship, you actually have been building me up. You don't know that sometimes I dream of you and when I wake up you whisper my name in your sleep. You have no idea how much I love you and what measures I'll go to to keep you with me and safe. Selena, you have no idea how much it'll kill me to see you leave."
He ties the bandage around my palm and the pain fades away. His eyes connect with mine and I search through his serious features. I love him, no use resisting.
"I have no idea..."
I go for it, I lunge into his lips and pull him close by his collar.
Peter kisses me back with a enormous amount of passion and I let all morals, all worries, all pain, and all memories of my accident...Fade.
His hands grip onto my waist and pull me close to him. This is how I want us to be, pulling each other closer and closer until eventually, I can't breathe anymore.
I sit on the countertop and he automatically stands between my legs. His hot lips still adoring mine in such sweet seduction and manner.
My skin on his neck on his body, but it's not enough for either of us, I can sense the restlessness inside him.
"I want you." He whispers through our kisses.
His hand goes behind my neck and dips into my shirt.
I gasp as I feel his rough skin on my own. Every touch, every kiss, every breath.
The shoulder of my shirt being pushed aside by his hand to reveal my tanned skin.
"I love you." I whisper to him.
His lips touch my skin gently and I lean back in my new seat.
His hands run up the hem of my shirt and pry it from my skin.
"Oh God."
He chuckles into my neck and pulls away. The smirk on his face contagious.
"Oh God?" He laughs.
"Ya, would you like me to say, sweet baby Jesus laying in a manager?"
"Nope, nope, Oh God is fine."
He smiles and I can't help but do the same.
"Alright then."
"We need to get that hand checked out though."
He walks away, but I grip onto his hand. Don't leave.
"Stay, Peter."
"I already am." He turns back and smiles at me.
His body between my legs again, and his button up shirt on his body. My fingers ache to just unbutton them all, and so I start. Slowly, one by one, they reveal his beautiful skin. Gleaming in the light of the chandelier.
My hand trembles as the last button falls lose and his whole perfect chest is revealed. The serious muscles and the burn marks on his abs from his Uncle.
Slowly I lean forward and kiss his healing burns softly.
Peter's voice quiets and his fingers entangle in my hair. It feels so damn good, and makes me crave more.
He releases my roots and trail down my clothed shoulder, to my hand, my wrist. The gentlest of touches, he brings the wrist up to his lips and lightly kisses the tanned.
"You have your scars and I have mine, but I regret yours the most."
"Peter-" I sigh into him.
"I know, you don't want me to feel bad for you, but I wish I could've met them. Just see them once."
"Me too."
I pry my eyes from his chest and up to his eyes. His loving narrowing eyes.
"Do you want to lay down? Talk some more?" Peters brown eyes urging me to say yes.
I hop off the counter in front of him and guide him to the couch in the living room. Let's talk.
Peter lays down and pulls my body down with his. Perfectly fitting and entwining.
"Should we talk about the wedding?" He whispers to me.
"Where should we have it?"
"Don't worry about that, I've got it planned out."
"When?"
"Whenever we want it." He smiles wide.
"A month?"
"Wow! I didn't think-"
"We can push it-"
"No, no, a month is perfect."
"A month it is."
"So...you working tomorrow?"
"Ya,I won't be back home until seven."
"I'm visiting you."
Panic erupts inside me, there's a reason why I have only workout gear in my closet.
"No."
"Yup."
"Peter, don't Come."