My life is cringy carry on with caution

1

Well the whole day was awfull but top it off i just bitch slaped the last person in my team (metaphoricaly obviously).

I have a gift and a curse, im so fucking realistic and hypervigilant. So when im hurt ill use my sharp words to hit those pressure points. Without even cursing, hitting, or talking about past insequrities i got my closest family to despise me.
Now when i say despise im not talking about not being nice or not doing me favors lik passing the remote. Fereal anger lik not wanting to make me food or not saying bless you to sneezing not saying goodbye or hello. Like when the only time they speak to me its to pick on something i did. Is this normal? Nobody acknoledges it. Is it just me? Why is this happening to me in particular?

Anyway my older brother was ignoring me on purpose because 'he doesnt feel from me that i really care' he was saying how it was kinda my fault for him not understanding, that my monotone voice and minimalistic way of speaking made him indiferent. He says these types of things to everyone but i wasnt going to jus take it he was being a jerk so  i started saying how thats just my voice its always like this. And etc etc in the i told him his 'correct way of doing things is self centered and incensitive'

I was so angry he made me feel like my way of being was wrong that i need to be more harsh and selfish to get what i want. In the end he was exactly like all the other adults in my life saying that i need to change that if i was more like this or more like that things would turn better. I cant stand it when people tell me to try harder - im already doing my best-

Also today my mom told me she wasnt doing my laundry anymore and that im grounded can only use my crap if i ask. Shes the type of person that doesnt stop until she feels that youve suffered enough that she isnt as angry as before.

My older bro iswas the only person i could talk to i dont think that he'll be upset for long but still i dont want to be completely by myself right now.
I guess its just like the old days , the only thing i have is coco and poppa (my dog and pet bird) well coco died a month ago in the US but thats for another chapter.

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Like maybe 1 person may see this but i needed to vent. I hopfuly dont come off as a complainer