This is really stupid but to my sisters im sorry. Im sorry for being a coward. Im sorry for removing myself from your lives. Jeanell i think about you everyday. Everytime august 16 rolls around i feel guilt. Every year i let that day pass. I dont know if this was the right choice idk what i should do. Im too much of a coward to even hear your name i almost cant stand it because i still miss you i cant get over it. I also hate myself for not moving on.
Finally got that off my chest
Anyway
Today um like i said before i wasnt going to tell ppl im a foreigner but it was harder to keep it a secret than i thought. Long story short i was peer pressured into speaking in my native tongue lol. Thing is they clapped afterward. I really apreciate it i do its like the only times i get a congrats for all the effort ive put in. Do they realize how dumb that is though? Like english is the easiest thing, Spanish is the struggle of my daily life. Isnt that obvious? I wish they clapped when i talked for 5 minutes straight you know? Weird situations i get into.
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The title is from radiohead's song lotus flower and yea i do feel an emptiness everday with not having people i can talk to (in english) and jeanell
YOU ARE READING
My life is cringy carry on with caution
Non-FictionIm going to write here when i feel so shitty it inspires me. /rants\
