My life is cringy carry on with caution

3 10 things

Theres alot of things i want to say/get of my chest so imgonna number them

1) fuck my life, for reals like i dont see the point in ANYTHING school work seems petty and stupid. Everybody in my class is tbh really imature so hanging out and being nice and cute seems so....tedious. Being with my family isnt very satisfying like my guts want to be with them and chat but when i actually do that the just really
Piss me off alot. The only thing that gets my spirit up is like getting really into an anime/tv show.    But when will that get old? When will i become bored of it? What happens when i dont get the feels from that just like everything else? What will i do then? Maybe i just need to get a boyfriend or see janeall.

2) I've been a bit down today. I dont know why today but i kept thinking about people from my past and got really depressed when i remembered how badly i miss a some people. I missed j today i think it was the first time i legit admitted to myself i need to see her again. Not the way we used to be because that wont happen i want to see her as she is now.         I also hecka miss this guy Romeo. I know hes a player and would never be with me. Its like 99% ill never see him again. I dont know what or why i cannot pinpoint it but i realllyyy liked just talking to him being around hugging meeting up. It would be so cool to see him one more time and he isnt being a douche bag. He did tell me he liked me ,twice actually, i was always scared to admit i liked him too. There was also the fact i was going to move soon and he had a girlfriend. I dont know if i regret it ,probably, but i just really miss him /:

3)My older brother is an asshole.Period. So he is agghh i dont want to get into it actually but im not planning on continuing the relationship we have going on.

4) lately ive been naseous whenever i eat and im kinda worried like i dont eat that much and when i do i usually feel like throwing up especialy mushy foods. I think i need help.

5) i want to get a tattoo or another peircing or bleach and color my hair im so bored everyone in mx is the same.

6)today i basicaly got friendzoned , i think that was the cherry on top of the freaking depresion cake. We were all (4gals 2guys)talking about each others prefrences, types, what type of gf or bf would you be etc. So like if all of us were to confess which one of us would he accept and why/why not . So i wasnt glad that he didnt choose me but like i thought it was cool watever it was more when he said why. He said like along the lines of i cant imagine it, im a reallly good best man type of friend.  Like basicaly im perfect nothing wrong im just cooler as a friend ??!! For the other girls he had good reasons like i dont like how she is her personality but for me im good its just a no. I  wouldnt mind if i didnt care about him but hes a really nice guy i wouldnt mind dating him so it kinda hurt to be totaly shot down for sucha reason. Idk maybe im just over exagerating i know he doesnt want to hurt my feelings. But i jus felt sad afterwards. O whale.

7)people that talk back are the most memorable and usualy the most admired.

8)treat people the way you want to be treated. This applies in other ways not jus being nice fereals tho know what you want and express it.(lmao i need to take my own advice)

9)watch this anime Nana its so good honestly im in love with all the characters i get feels every story arch. There Are Many Episodes! Its hard to find a decent anime thats actualy long.

10)my favorite lyric from the song tagd (if its not with you - Phoenix) "The harder i try the less i care about it" i hella feel this song because rn i dont care about alot of things so if im not with you then - wats thepoint. Then so true to me the harder i try the less i care about it.
idk if this makes any sense.