An Escape to a New Reality (A Hobbit Fanfiction)

Breakdown

The overwhelming nausea hit again. Knowing that nothing would come up, I let my body collapse against the wall. My body shaking with every sob.

"May!" I turned my head and I saw the company. The looks on their faces would have been hysterical had I been in such a state. I looked at Fili and Kili who now stood just behind their uncle, all three had looks of fear and uncertainty.

I gasped as I watched the dwarves eyes shift to blank soul-less stares as they fell to the floor dead. Taking a step away, I watched the world around me change. No longer were we on a mountain top but flat land. Bodies and blood everywhere. I was on a battlefield. Orcs, men, elves. Their bodies lay everywhere. Hearing a booming voice I look up to see Azog standing next to the Oakenshields. Smiling he commands two of his servants to go after me. I don't know what he said, but as quick as I could I turned to run. "NO!" I screamed out as I was grabbed by one of the orcs. Nooo! Let me GO! I thrash about trying to get it off of me. Feeling another one grab hold of me I close my eyes and struggle. Remember my brother's teachings. I am able to break an arm free but twisting against the orc's thumb. But soon another holds onto me. "You will watch them die!" The soft command made my blood run cold and I opened my eyes. My mouth dropped and new tears formed. Thorin was dead.

Two orcs held Kili back as he screamed and tried to run to his uncle. Shifting to Azog, I catch his eye. Smiling sadistically, he steps aside to reveal Fili. His mouth is bleeding and eyes unfocused. Looking down his body, I see the blood where he was stabbed. I try to run to him despite the three orcs that were holding me back. "NO! Fili!" I watch Azog through blurry eyes as I watch him walk over to Kili who struggles even more. N-no. Don't. My heart races and I elbow one of the orcs before biting his hand. Kicking the one holding my left arm in the leg, I manage to break free for a split moment before I am tackled.

"NOO! Let me go!" I look up to see Azogs knife lift up. "Don't! P-please don't kill him!" I stop struggling as I plead with the Pale Orc. I do not see what happens next. Just laughing. I close my eyes tight. Still pinned to the ground I cry as I try so hard to hide my face.

NO! No no no. Please bring them back. Please!

"Get off her!" The orcish voice can be heard over the laughter and screams. Suddenly the orcs are no longer pinning me down and a pair of thick arms lift me up so I am sitting on my knees. I don't open my eyes as I struggle. But fatigue and a feeling of hopelessness make my efforts pointless.

"May!" I hear my name from the orc. I don't know how it knew my name but I don't care. I keep my eyes tight keeping some of my tears in. Suddenly the arms shake me as it screamed my name again. "May!" I turn my head to the side as I snap my eyes open. It's night again, I can see the night sky and the tree covered mountains. The battle was gone, the tortured cries of death were gone. Everything was silent except for the sound of heavy breathing. My trembling body tenses up when I feel a glove covered hand brush my bangs away to cup the left side of my face. I jerk away, shoving the hand away from my face. For the first time I see the thing that picked me up. Kili…I swallow as I look into his eyes. "It's ok. You're safe." He's alive. It wasn't real. Without hesitation, I let myself fall into his arms. My own arms wrapping around his waist, I hold on tight to him, afraid that if I let go the nightmares will once again consume me. 

Feeling Kili's arms wrap around my body, I broke down again. New tears of relief and fear fell down my face and on top Kili's chest. "You're safe now, miss." He said softly placing his cheek against the top of my head.

We remained like that for several minutes. Kili said nothing. Just held me close and tight in his arms. My crying had ceased and aside from the occasional feeling of cold, my body had stopped shaking as well. I never imagined being in this position in my life. I had never let anyone see my like this after Michael. I was never going to let anyone see me so weak and vulnerable again. So what do I go and do? I had shown a company of dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit just how scared I truly was. I should feel horrified and ashamed, but I didn't. I couldn't. The sound of Kili's steady breath and heart beat was too soothing and his hold on me comforting. I never want this moment to end. My eyes snapped open and tensed I shuddered. Where did that come from!? I took a deep breath and ever so slowly moved my hands to Kili's chest pushing some space between us.