An Escape to a New Reality (A Hobbit Fanfiction)

Confrontation

Do you know the feeling when your heart has broken? The hollow feeling of numbness? That is the feeling that welcomed me when I awoke. Turning on my back, I stared up at star spotted sky. Even though it was still night, the shift in blue let me know that the sun would soon rise.

I didn't remember falling asleep last night. Then again, I vaguely remember what had happened after I stopped singing. With a quiet sigh I look over to my right. Bofur was still asleep. The dwarf, somewhere along the journey, had become like a second father to me and once again, my heart broke at the thought of leaving. I sat up and brought my knees to my chest as I looked over the sleeping bunch. Kili and Fili slept across the fire from me, though when they returned I had no clue. 

The brunette slept with his back turned to me, his shoulders tense. Guilt filled my heart. This was all my fault. A part of me wanted to hold him, beg for forgiveness. But with everything that I knew,  I had to let him go. Letting out a silent sigh, I let my head rest on my knees.

 I hate this.

"Why are you up so early?"

I jumped. Thorin stood calmly behind Bofur. Cringing innwardly, I cursed for having been so lost in my thoughts I hadn't noticed him walking over. I shrugged as I stood up.

"You should get some more rest."

I shook my head. "I'm already awake. I can keep watch until light."

Thorin chuckled and walked over to a log a few feet away from the group. Sitting down he patted the seat next to him. I bit my lower lip, hesitant at first but slowly I walked over to sit next to him.

"Tell me about your home."

I shook my head in surprise. I wasn't expecting that. 

"Excuse me?"

"You say you wish to return, yet you speak not of where you come from."

I frowned and cast my gaze at the ground. 

Of course I don't. I can't. Even if I did tell them where I was from, they wouldn't believe me.

"Why is this?" His voice was soft and while it was shocking to hear, I could only shrug and respond as truthfully as possible.

"Just easier not thinking about it...I guess."

"What made you leave?"

The question caused me to look up at the older dwarf. He stared out into the open darkness that surrounded us, keeping a watchful eye for any movement that wasn't from the others. It was the first time anyone had asked my that since coming here. 

Crap. Why did he have to ask me now? What do I tell him? 

I silently cursed to myself. "I uh...I just did."

He said nothing but didn't seem satisfied with my answer. I was torn, I didn't know what else to do, so letting out a sigh I went with the truth. Well partial truth at least.

"I was heartbroken."

I expected a scoff or laugh, something. But Thorin was still silent but this time when I looked at him, he seemed curious, so I continued.

"We...me and this guy, were sort of seeing each other."

"Seeing each other?" 

Oh yeah...how do I explain this..."We...he was...courting me? But he just started doing that."

With a quick nod from Thorin, I knew he seemed to understand better.

"When I found out he was courting another and was more serious about her, I was hurt. So I left."