An Escape to a New Reality (A Hobbit Fanfiction)

Desires Unkown

Dinner was interesting to say the least. It was very amusing to see the dwarves complain about the lack of meat or questioning what kind of food we received. It seemed as though the company's spirit had been restored and it was like being back in Bilbo's home. Smiling sadly, I watched the others test and poke at the unusual food, but my food stayed on my plate untouched. Glancing over at the other table where Elrond, Gandalf and Thorin sat, I felt my body tense. I had managed to talk with Gandalf and Elrond before coming to join the others for dinner. But now, I wasn't sure if I made the right decision.

"My dear May. Why the sudden change of heart?" Gandalf 's eyes were furrowed. "You have come so far, and you have proven yourself to Thorin and the other dwarves…" I bit my lip as I tried to keep my emotions in check. "I just want to return home. I shouldn't be here and I don't want them to constantly worry about me…I just think it would be best for me to leave." Looking up, Gandalf seemed to doubt my answer, but nodded nonetheless. Turning to face Elrond, I bowed my head. "But I wanted to ask you, Lord Elrond, if you would let me stay here until I regain my strength before I head on my way." Elrond looked to Gandalf. They said nothing, but seemed to understand each other very well. "You are welcome to stay. When you are ready to leave, I will see that you are given supplies to take with you." I bowed and thanked him before watching him leave to. "I wish you would reconsider leaving the company." I pursed my lips but kept my gaze down. "It is understandable that you are scared. You are in a world that is not your own but I believe that you were brought here for a reason." Looking up at Gandalf as he bent down to meet my eyes. "Do not let your fear and his stubbornness keep you from finding your way." With a sly smile, I watched slack jawed and confused as he followed after the Elven King.

"Is everything ok, lass?" Bofur's voice brings me back. Lifting my head I see Bofur leaning across from me. "You aren't eating." With a mental shake of my head, I tried to give a reassure the dwarf. Seeing the look on the dwarf's face hurt. I didn't expect that. "I'm just not that hungry." I slowly pushed my plate away and stood up causing everyone to turn and look at me including Thorin, Elrond and Gandalf. I looked away wanting desperately to turn in visible. "Lass, you really should try to eat."

"I agree with Bofur. You have not eaten since last night." Bomber's voice became muffled as the rest of the company spoke up, even Kili tried to get me to sit down. Although he was irritated, his touch was surprisingly gentle. With no food in my stomach and my mind numb, I didn't have the energy to argue or make up a plausible excuse. Instead I looked over to Gandalf. The sly smile was no longer there from earlier, instead he looked on in concern. I furrowed my brows as I silently begged him understand my actions next. The small tilt of his head was all the confirmation I needed. "I just need to walk around a bit. Excuse me." I whispered and with a bow my head to the dwarves and Bilbo, i turn to leave the dinning hall.

I don't know where I was headed, my thoughts too preoccupied with what Gandalf had said. I was still confused about his last comment, but it did bring me some happiness to know that he believed that I was worthy. Finally looking around, I found myself alone on one of the bridges. I walked over to the railing, I gasped as I saw the numerous waterfalls, and the valley in the distance that was dark in the orange sky. The sounds of the birds and rushing water carried away my tension letting exhaustion hit me causing my to slump against the railing locking my arms. I let my head hang, as I stared at the floor, and effected on my confession to Gandalf. It wasn't a complete lie, I did wish to continue with the dwarves. I knew the book and the movie, which meant I knew what obstacles lay ahead. But at the same time Kili was right, I didn't belong here. I hadn't changed anything, just made things worse. I belonged back at the camp with Danny. I closed my eyes as I remembered the last time I saw him. His tan skin, Chinese eyes, his confidence that bordered on cockiness. But being away from Danny and not thinking about him, all I could think was that I didn't know what I liked about him. I took a deep breath and leaned against the pillar that supported the stone railing. For the first time since I got here, first time in a long time, I was able to think somewhat clearly. The sun had set now and night surrounded Rivendell. By now, Thorin, Balin and Gandalf were with Elrond discussing the map that showed the way to Erebor. My stomached tightened. While I didn't know how the war would start in the movie, I knew what would happen in Erebor. It always took forever for me to read last few chapters and it was heart breaking to read about Thorin, Fili and Kili's fates. It was so vivid in my mind, and now…I slid down the pillar onto the floor as I tried to push the images out of my head. If I stayed, watching them die will kill me. Why couldn't they just have stayed at the shire or in the Blue Mountains? They were happy there and safe and Kili wouldn't always have a scowl on his face because I wouldn't have been around. Closing my eyes, I reminisce seeing Kili and Fili for the first time and smiled. They were so similar and yet so different. Fili was handsome and caring. Then there was Kili. He was funny, energetic, kind…until I screwed things up. "Sexy."