Supernatural Imagines

TFW x reader--Something Wrong

Imagine trying to hide a mental disorder from Sam and Dean but Cas spills the beans.

Trigger warning: Mental illness

Your sister, she stands beside you as she screams into your ear. You exhale deeply and concentrate on what Dean is explaining. You tell yourself she's not real, but Dean's voice is flooded out by her shouts.

"It's all your fault! You can't get rid of me! You're useless!"

You close your eyes and rub them with the heels of your hands. Her shouts echo in your head and you wait for them to disappear.

When you open your eyes, she is gone and Sam and Dean are staring at you, concerned.

"Y/n, you alright?" Sam asks.

"Yeah," you plaster on a smile, "just tired."

He nods and continues to talk about the case. You exhale deeply and twiddle your thumbs. There's no use in paying attention now, you already missed the first half.

You look up from your hands and jump at your dead sister, leaning over Dean as he rambles on obliviously. You want to help him, to shout at her to leave them alone, but you can't. Your mouth feels like it's tied shut.

Your breath gets caught in your throat and you can't breathe. No air gets past your nose and you feel dizzy.

"Y/n," Dean's voice penetrates the void. You blink back to reality and she disappears. You focus back into reality and give Dean your full attention as you catch your breath.

"Y/n? I asked you a question."

"Oh, sorry." You rub you eyes to sell the 'I'm tired' act. "I wasn't listening."

"Why are you out of breath? Are you sure you're ok?" Sam questions.

You nod. "I'm fine." You push yourself up so you're standing and tell them you're taking a break.

In the kitchen, you start a cup of coffee, and to keep your mind busy while you wait, you do a crossword puzzle. You have kept this book of puzzles with you ever since you started seeing her. If you distracted yourself, she wouldn't come.

"Your coffee is ready," a familiar voice says.

You look up and Castiel is standing before you with his eyebrows knitted together.

"Are you ok?" He asks.

"I'm fine. Stop asking me." You stand up and set down your finished crossword puzzle. As you pour the coffee into a cup, you change the subject, "So, stranger, what have you been up to lately? I haven't seen you in a few months."

"Y/n, something is wrong. Are you seeing things?"

"What are you talking about?" You try to sound as clueless as possible even though you can't ignore the fact that your sister is standing right behind his shoulder. You gaze down into the black coffee and catch a reflection of a face behind you. You jump, spilling your coffee onto your shirt.

Castiel watches you silently. Sam and Dean trot into the kitchen and make assumptions about the situation.

"Cas, you can't just appear out of nowhere and scare us like that," Dean says, "You made Y/n spill her coffee."

Sam hands you a wet towel and you begin to dab at the brown splotch down your shirt.

"Dean, it wasn't me," Castiel begins to explain.

"Cas, don't," You plead for him to keep your secret, "It's nothing."

"What's up, guys?" Dean asks, still confused.

"Y/n has some form of schizophrenia."

Your heart drops. The air feels stale around you as you wait for someone to answer.

"How long?" Sam asks with his jaw clenched and a vein popped out in his forehead.

You shrug.

"What do you see?" Dean asks hesitantly.

You shake your head and look to the floor. Your hands tremble and your eyes close. Someone takes your hands in theirs and you feel a warmth flow up your arms and to your head. Then the feeling disappears and you open your eyes.

Castiel steps back. "There isn't much I can do. This is beyond what I can fix."

You sigh and hold your head in your hands as the tears come rolling down your cheeks. Someone catches you in a strong embrace as you begin to sob. He strokes your hair and holds you close. Finally, you realize that something really is wrong and it's not just something you'll get over. You finally realize that you need help, and they can provide it. You finally realize that you will be ok.