So Little Time (Frerard)

20: Please Don't Tell Me That We're Fine

Leaving the hospital without Frank by his side was the worst thing Gerard had ever done - it felt wrong, and he couldn't stop looking back at the white building which was quickly fading into the distance behind them, almost as if he would see Frank walking out any minute, ignoring the concerned glances Mikey kept shooting him out of the corner of his eye.

They had been stuck there for a little while longer after Mikey's arrival, dealing with a few more minute details, as well as waiting for Frank's mother to show up so they could explain what had happened, Gerard having finally called her after Mikey's soothing words of encouragement had helped him to calm down some.

Linda seemed to be in shock when a small nurse escorted here into the room, her eyes wide and glazed as Gerard informed her that Frank was gone, not a word left her lips as she followed the doctor back into the morgue so she could see Frank's body for herself.

When she returned, she was wiping her eyes discreetly, the corner of her lips trembling wildly as she listened to whatever the doctor was saying to her. After Dr. Jones took his leave, she turned to Gerard slowly, her body shaking slightly as she took his hand in hers.

"Thank you for everything, I will never be able to repay you for this, but I am so glad he was with you in the end, and I will always count you as part of my family," she choked out, a steady stream of tears falling down her face as she spoke.

It took every ounce of strength Gerard possessed not to lash out at her sorrow, not to blame her for everything that Frank had gone through, because in a way, this was her fault, because she was Frank's mother, and she hadn't helped him when he was in pain, she hadn't taken him to the doctor when he began complaining of headaches just to make sure it wasn't anything serious, she had done nothing for Frank, except for stand by and watch as his life crumbled down around him.

And yes - Frank may have forgiven her before he passed, and she had earned some of Gerard's respect over the last few weeks, but none of that changed the fact that Frank was now dead, and she could have prevented it if only she had noticed his illness sooner.

But Gerard was too tired for conflict, and all the hateful thoughts in his head could also be directed back at himself, because he hadn't stepped up either, and even though he had more of an excuse, he wasn't oblivious to Frank's head pains either, and the last thing either of them needed was spiteful words tossed around just because Gerard was hurting.

So Gerard choked back his unexpected fury, instead, squeezing her hand in a gesture of comfort, leading her over to the seat he had previously been in while she did her best to stem the flow of tears pouring down her face.

They had conversed for a little bit longer after that, sharing memories of Frank and working out the more gritty details, like the medical bills. Gerard had assured her that he could pay for it all, but she had refused, saying that she would put half toward everything, including the funeral, even though Gerard knew that she and Frank's father were not well off when it came to money, but honestly, he was too emotionally exhausted to argue any longer.

They had parted ways when Linda called Frank's father, giving him a chance to say his final farewells to the son he didn't deserve, and even though Gerard didn't want to leave Frank, dead or not, he wasn't ready to face Frank's father, especially not in his current emotional state, so he and Mikey took their leave, promising to meet Frank's mother at the funeral which was going to be held some time next week.

Eventually, Gerard could no longer see the hospital anymore, just the road and Pete following behind them in his car, so with a defeated sigh, Gerard slumped back down into his chair, his eyes fixed on his lap determinedly as a few tears dropped down his chin.