So Little Time (Frerard)

1: Troubled Thoughts And The Self Esteem To Match

Gerard was bored - again, and his sketchbook didn't seem to be catching his attention lately, but he was still trying to produce something decent. His pencil scratched away at the previously unblemished paper, attempting to find a picture in the graphite that even his mind wasn't aware of yet. He always drew like this, with no idea what the end result would be. That was just the way his brain worked, and he couldn't change it, even if he wanted to.

Gerard let his thoughts wander as his pencil glided over the page, and he wasn't surprised when his sketch began to evolve into one of Frank. More than half of his drawings were either of, or relating to his boyfriend, but he couldn't help the fact that he was always on his mind.

But his hand was beginning to cramp, and even though Gerard loved drawing, it was quickly losing its appeal today, so he closed the book with a sharp snap, leaving the unfinished sketch for a later time.

The problem was what to do now; television didn't seem enticing, and Gerard wasn't hungry, and it was much too early in the afternoon to even consider falling asleep, so Gerard found himself wandering aimlessly around his too large house, straightening up random objects as he went.

Gerard briefly considered looking into getting a job, but he really didn't need the money - not with the generous trust fund Elena had left him when she had passed away, along with this house. Gerard didn't have any rent to worry about since Elena had paid off the mortgage when she had been living here, and he barely had to touch the interest his account accumulated to cover the utility and cable bill.

Thinking about Elena brought a sad smile to Gerard's face; he still missed her dearly, he always would, but his pain at her passing had softened into a dull ache, and he felt as if she was still with him in a way, watching over him from above as he lived out his life in the house she had once abided in.

Bringing his easily distracted mind back to the job idea, Gerard wondered if it would be a good experience for him or not. It would give him something to do at the very least, and extra money wasn't something he was going to turn away, but it would be hard to work once college started up again in the fall, and he didn't want his grades to suffer, so maybe it wasn't the best course of action after all.

Gerard knew he would be plenty busy as soon as school was back in session; his current boredom was just brought on by this never ending summer, and even though at first, the idea of unlimited free time had been a dream come true, Gerard had quickly realized that lazing around the house all day got old very fast. This was the first holiday Gerard had ever spent on his own, and even though it wasn't abysmal, it was a bit lonely most of the time.

It was different when Frank was around; Gerard could spend hours with him and never tire of his presence, but he wasn't here right now, and he wouldn't be coming over until later tonight, according to his last text.

Just when Gerard had finally slumped down on the couch and resigned himself to watching crap television now that he couldn't find anything else to clean up at the moment, a small knock resounded throughout the room. Gerard checked his phone, but he didn't have any new messages from Frank - he usually texted him before he headed over, but Gerard never had any other visitors.

"Who is it?" Gerard called out loudly, erring on the side of caution just in case burglars had started knocking on doors recently, and he hadn't received the memo.

"It's me," Frank's familiar voice carried through the walls, and Gerard grinned broadly as he quickly undid the lock separating him from his boyfriend.

Gerard's smile dropped off his face as soon as he took in Frank's appearance. His features were twisted up in that expression it always carried when he was trying not to cry, and he was favoring his left foot slightly.