Yearn for You [poems]

The Past

The simple gestures.

The looks.

The CD playlists.

The texts.

The late-night calls.

Even the calls where we spoke and rambled about nothing. 

Why apologize for cutting off communication when the next day it's like I'm not even there?

The greatest question, and it happens to be the one I'm asking: Why.

It was like it was sooo easy for you to walk right in,

even though I was a brick wall,

to tear me down,

fill me up with kindness,

back up a couple steps blaming it on something stupid,

something small,

something irrelevant,

and still manage to walk away shrugging and smiling.

You tore me apart.

Apart.

One again: 

Why?

Was I just a little game?

Certainly not a toy.

I am a human.

I tend to make mistakes.

Why would you go behind my back and blame it on me?

I was just the one confused on where you stood beside me.

Do you know what this meant to me?

What you meant to me?

Or... do you not care at all?

You left me in the time of need.

Need.

Not want, but need.

I was already left earlier that week,

and then you left a couple days later.

It wasn't exactly 'left' at first.

It was more of 'spaced out'.

It was like you even forgot my name.

My name, the one you complimented so many times before.

Before.

That's what I have to look back to? Before the hurt.

I have no idea why I'm bringing up the past.

                                                                                  goodbye for now.