Yearn for You [poems]

Leaving

I didn't want to leave.
As you told me your goodbyes,
tears slowly streamed down my face.

The worst feeling is when all I wanted to do was to get out of the car and go with you.

I haven't cried this much since my grandfather passed in '09.

But when I climbed into the backseat and heard them saying they love me, tears started to roll nonstop. I didn't want to leave; I wanted to stay.

I felt happy the whole week. I smiled so much, and laughed. Even if it had been eight years since I've seen them last, we connected easily.

Growing up I would only speak to the cousins through the phone occasionally. I would only hear how they had good grades or what state or country they were in for the year. My uncle is in the Air Force so they go places. While I stay here, stuck forever it seems.

It's hard as is growing up without a dad. Yeah, I have a stepdad who loves me, but knowing my dad passed away when I was an infant, it's tough. I'll never get that chance to try and find him. He's gone. But someday I hope to see him in heaven.

So this whole week I actually got to learn what my dad was like. My uncle talked about him a lot. mentioning him here and there. It made me feel loved when my uncle called me his daughter. He added that he would be my father since his little brother isn't here to be in that position.

Now looking back, the tears are coming back. I've had the best week in my whole entire life. I cannot wait to see them again. I just hate that distance gets in the way.

And now I am just too exhausted to even read what I wrote. This is me venting. So I am sorry for my little family time ventation. I don't think I could ever get enough hugs from them.

Now my cousin who is a year older, connor, who i found out was my twin bc we look alike, is texting telling me to look up a song called Little Wonder by Rob Thomas. Never heard of it before until tonight, but you should look it up.

And as the last thing my uncle said to me besides he loves me was "see ya later" because he knew this was not a goodbye. I'll be saving my money now to hopefully visit them in December. Fingers crossed!



And Julia if you're reading this, I just wanted to say I'm starting on my permit book now. Quicker to get a way and quicker to get a get out of hell card.