To Love A God.

Ooo Lala Part 1

"I think we should move." I whisper silently as Loki and i cuddle into bed. 

He wraps his arms around me, spooning me into him. He kisses my cheek, "Why baby?" 

"One, there are no schools around here anymore, and two, i don't think i can start a new family here. I don't think i could move in a new baby, into Gabe and Addy's room, i cant destroy it. I can't change it."

Loki sighs gently, "I know baby. I wasn't expecting you to be able to." I turn and face Loki, his eyes are full of compassion, he understands me. I press my head against his chest. He holds me tighter.  "We'll look tomorrow for a new home. OK baby?" I nod in his chest, and place a tiny kiss on his breast. He kisses the top of my head and gently pets my hair. 

"You know, i can't believe we made it this far." I laugh. 

Loki's chest bounces as he laughs. "And why is that?"

"The first days i was with you i was afraid of you. I hid in Tony's room, afraid you were going to kill me." 

Loki starts to crack up. I haven't heard him laugh like this in a while. "Really? You thought i was going to kill you?" His laughter is pleasing.

"Yes i did." I laugh, "remember that day, you came in my room, and you asked if i was OK, and you touched my head, and you told me i was cold, and i said, you were freezing."

"Yes."

"Well i was hiding in the blankets, and when i heard you walking my way i began to have an anxiety attack, i was so scared, i was like oh my god he's gonna kill me. That's why i was so pale, because i was afraid of you."

"Awe hunny." He laughs a bit, and pulls my face to his, and kisses me, "I did for a small minute think about killing you."

"Ahh!" I say in a shocked and appalled voice. "When?" 

"The night you played dead. You angered me so much that you thought it was funny to be dead, that i just could've killed you."

"Well in some odd way, i guess that's romantic. So kinda like if i can't have you no one can type of thing except you thought, if someones gonna kill you i will. Thanks babe, its nice to know you cared so much about me." I giggle in him. I kiss his lips. 

"I'm sorry i ever thought about killing you. Forgive me?" He laughs. 

"You're forgiven." I laugh and kiss him. I curl back up in his arms, "I love you Loki." I whisper.

"I love you too Alice."

And i fall asleep in my mans arms.

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I wake up to Loki's grip tightening around me. I look up at him, and he looks scared and sad. His eyebrows burrow together in pain. And he calls out my name. His breathing is ragged and he looks terrified. I try to sit up, but his grip becomes tighter, it kinda hurts, "No please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you too." He cries.

"Loki, Loki baby. Wake up. Wake up. I'm right here." I gently caress his face. He wakes up, with a bit of a start, his eyes are deep and sad, full of built up tears. "I'm not going to leave you baby." I whisper and i hold him tight. He presses his head into my breast and  i hold him tight as i feel his breathing slow down. 

"I'm so sorry." he whispers. 

"Shhh nonsense, you have no need to be sorry." I kiss the top of his head. "Everyone has nightmares." I cradle him in me. I've never seen him so hurt. It hurts me. I pull his face up to mine, his eyes are red from tears. I kiss his lips, and wipe the tears from his eyes. "I love you so much Loki. I love you so much that it kinda hurts. But in the best way possible." I say to Loki, "I am not going anywhere OK?" 

He nods, and lays back down with me. He grabs me and pulls me into him. My body is pressed tight against his, and i can feel his breathing slowing down, and relaxing. He kisses my neck, and holds on to me, wrapping his arms around my back. "I love you so much Alice." He says. His voice is back to its well controlled state. 

"Get some sleep baby." I kiss his chest. and rest my head on his heart. I don't want to fall asleep, i just want to hear his hear beat all night. Calmly, hopefully. Soon he's back to sleeping, and i feel weird. I don't know how i feel about vulnerable scared Loki. It scared me. I was worried, and so upset. I've never seen him like that, and i don't think i want to see him like that again. Ever. 

I drift off asleep. 

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I wake up and Loki is still asleep. I look at his peaceful face, he's dreaming now. It's adorable. I slide out of his arms, and walk into the bathroom. I turn the shower on, i need my muscles to relax now, and nothing like a nice shower and then a hot bath to make my body relax. I wash my body, and relax. As soon as i finish my hair, shaving, and washing my body, i start a bath. I sit in the tub, and think about Loki and me, and the baby. The baby. We're having a baby. We need a new home. We're moving. We're actually starting a life together. Oh my god. I feel the panic sink in as i run over my thoughts. Commitment, i'm not good at it. I can't believe he's tied me down this long. I hear his footsteps. I draw the curtain closed, I don' want him to see me. He'll know. He'll know i was panicked, or think i was sick. Recollect. Recollect yourself Alice! "Good morning me beautiful queen." He pee's and that makes me giggle. I've never been in a bathroom, with the opposite sex, while either of us potty.  "What are you giggling about." 

"I can hear you tinkling." I giggle.

Loki laughs, "So? Have you never heard another human tinkle?" 

"Not a man. Is it hard to aim?" I laugh.

"Nope." He flushes the toilet, and draws back my curtain. "Ooo lala aren't you a beauty." He says. He strips his clothes off, "I didn't know you'd be in here, but now that i see you, i think i'll join you. Move forward." I inch forward in the large tub, and Loki scoots in behind me, and draws me close into him, so that i'm sitting in between his legs. I look at him. "You are so beautiful, I love you."

"I love you too, handsome." I reach my hand back to the back of his neck and kiss him.