LIMERANCE,, benedict bridgerton

xxvii | ulterior motives

When Alexandria ran outside she decided she could not bear to be on the same grounds as Benedict and Tilley anymore. Rather than a carriage taking her home, she opted for walking home thinking fresh air would do her the world of good.

Instead the walk home by herself only left Alexandria room to overthink about everything that has just went down and question if what her and Benedict had was real all along. Or if she was just making it all up? There was a slight chill in the evening air which made her rub her hand up and down her arm furiously in an attempt to heat herself up, cursing herself that she chose to walk.

"It's good exercise." Alexandria muttered to herself as she practically stomped home.  When she finally made it home out of breath and tears streaming down her face she was ready to flee to her bedroom. "You're home early." Rosalie said making Alexandria pause on the steps. She quickly wiped her tears away and faced her mother.

"I am not feeling too good." Alexandria sniffled silently praying that her eyes are not puffy and red. "Okay." Rosalie said cocking her head to the side like she didn't believe Alexandria and walked off. That was odd of her mother to not press her any further, Alexandria thought.

Once in the safeness of her own bed chambers Alexandria sat down at her writing desk. She pulled out the manuscript she was currently working on and stared down at it and picked up her quill. As soon as Alexandria's quell was dipped in ink and hit the paper, it was like words came spilling out of her.

As the words poured out of her with ease, so did her tears. Alexandria was in floods of tears when she was furiously scribbling on her parchment. She wrote until her wrists and back ached and prepared to get ready for bed. It was now surely midnight as the house had gone silent.

Alexandria stared at herself in the mirror as she started to undress, gazing at herself to long she broke down into floods as she couldn't bare to look at herself any longer. Why would Benedict do that to her? Why would he sleep with someone he told her not to worry about? So many cruel questions entered her mind.

She felt around for any pins in her hair that were holding her hair together securely and pulled them out letting her curls run unruly down her back. Feeling suffocated, Alexandria started pulling at her dress to get it off. She grunted and sobbed when she couldn't get it off.

"Alexandria honey, stop." Thomas said suddenly startling Alexandria. It was no use to wipe her tears away her father has already caught her in a bad state. Thomas stepped behind her and unlaced her dress which gave Alexandria relief immediately.

"I don't expect you to tell me what is wrong but I am always here." Thomas said pulling Alexandria into his chest. "Thank you father." Alexandria sobbed. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry." She said apologetically and Thomas nodded in understanding.

He exited the room wordlessly and Alexandria resumed to undressing, she quickly changed into nightclothes and crawled into bed crying herself to sleep.

❀•°❀°•❀

It had been a week since Alexandria left her house or seen anyone excluding her family. She had asked to not let anyone in to see her, even Penelope. She felt horrible but she could not stand to listen to people's sympathy. The whole week had been spent working on her novel or taking a walk around her own garden.

Alexandria was coming close to finishing her novel, she was in the editing stages now and was very excited for everyone to read her work.

Currently, Alexandria was lying on her side in bed staring at nothing. When Clara came into her room. "Someone's here to see you." Clara announced. "I don't want to see them." Alexandria sighed, she was aware Benedict had tried to call a couple of times but she had Clara turn him away. "It's Eloise." Clara said.