who's your daddy? // luke hemmings

dvadeset

sotc: I see fire by ed sheeran

"So you guys are, like, a thing now?" Brindlee was bouncing in her seat, almost spilling her chocolate milk at our lunch table.

"Uh-I don't really know what we are. Like, we act like we are boyfriend and girlfriend behind closed doors, but that doesn't change the fact that he is technically my brother." I shivered out of disgust. What am I doing?

"Yeah, that is pretty gross. He is so hot, though." I glared at her and she laughed. "Woah, sorry?" I shook my head and put my face in my hands.

"I'm just so confused. He tells me that he wants to protect me, but then gets upset when I'm at the house a lot. Not to mention he is twice my age. I want to be something more with him, but I just can't. I'm sick of us being this stupid secret."

"Hey, it's alright. He's a gentleman and you both are lucky to have each other." She rubbed my back and I looked up at her. "But if he hurts you, may God pray for him because I won't hesitate to unleash my wrath-"

"Hannah, can I talk to you?" A tall figure stood over me and I knew by his voice that it wasn't someone I wanted to talk to; at least not now.

"Whatever you have to say, you can say it here." I smiled lightly at him, knowing that it wasn't reaching my eyes.

"Fine, uh, are you, um, dating your brother?" Brad's words fumbled and I almost laughed. He is so pathetic.

"No." I half-lied and his shoulders slumped in relief. "Goodbye." I waved him off and he hesitantly walked away. Brindlee asked me if I was going to eat my fries, and of course I was, but I shared with her.

"How's your dad?" I dropped my fry and I gasped. Why hasn't he called me? He always told me that he would call first, but it's been weeks. I simply guessed that it was just business holding him back and I shrugged warily.

"He's..yeah, he's fine." I smiled and nodded and she did too.

"Cool."

2 HOURS LATER

In the middle of English, Mr. Schwartz stopped in the middle of a lecture to answer the phone that was ringing. Speaking too low to hear his conversation and the kids around me who were talking about their lives, his face dropped and he looked at me. Me. What have I done? I started tapping my foot on the floor out of anxiety and something in my heart and my stomach and my mind felt so sour and strange.

Mr. Schwartz walked slowly, and almost hesitantly, towards my desk and excused me from class to the office; I was leaving for the day. I was shaking and my heart was pounding; something isn't right. He mouthed, 'I'm sorry' as I dumbfoundedly walked out of the classroom.

Making my way to the door of the office, I saw through the window a terrible scene. Elizabeth was crying. Luke was there, thank the Heavens, but he looked almost as broken as her, he just didn't want to show it. What has happened?

I opened the door and walked so slowly to them. I stopped, and it was like the entire room stopped, too. Everyone was staring at me. I was waiting for a camera crew to come out but there wasn't one. This was reality.

"Hannah, honey." Elizabeth's voice cracked. "You will be living with your real mother, now."

"What? No!" I protested, for I was stunned. "What have I done to make you do this? I promise, I will take it back; I won't slam the doors, I won't go out late-"

"No, Hannah, that's not it. Your father-", and she broke down again. Connecting the dots, I gasped and covered my mouth with my shaking hand.

"No." I whispered as a tear slipped out of my eye again and again. "No, that's my dad, he can't just do that. He has always been there for me." I gave up and dropped to my knees. "I shouldn't have let him go."

"It isn't your fault-"

"Who will I tell when I take the ACT's and I get the perfect score? Who will walk me down the aisle? Who will my children call grandfather?" I was sobbing now and hell, who could blame me?

"I'm so sorry." Luke sat on the ground beside me and cradled me. Rocking me back and forth, like a baby. "You just cry, okay? Cry as much as you can." He whispered into my hair. At this point, I didn't care who was watching me. My makeup was running down my face, my hair was sticking to my wet cheeks and was in my mouth, and the sounds coming from my mouth sounded like a monster; I didn't care, though. I just wanted my dad back.

"How did it happen?" I whispered.

"A, um, a car accident." Luke mumbled. I nodded and grabbed his bicep, squeezing as hard as I could. He whispered encouragements into my ear, such as "It's okay. You can do this.", and I believed him; just not today. For what felt like hours, we just sat there on the office floor, crying until my body was dry and my head pounding. Somehow, I ended up in the backseat of a girly car, probably Elizabeth's, and Luke sat with me. I didn't care if his mother was watching me; resting my head on Luke's thigh and holding his hand. He played with my hair and scratched my scalp, relaxing me. I felt so sleepy, and I just wanted to hibernate in Luke's scent.

That day, I felt my weight being carried, and I didn't even open my eyes; the feeling was all too familiar. The soft fabric of his flannel, his calloused fingers holding my thigh, the smell of vanilla and forestry, the stupid chain dangling out of his shirt, his hair falling flat from the scene earlier, his euphoria translating into my energy. I felt what I should see.

That day, I reminded myself that I was so glad that I had a person so precious who cared for me. Someone who held me when I was confused, who kissed away my tears, who told me I was normal for feeling good, who favorited and saved my innocence rather than taken advantage. He made my decent days magical. He turned my gray eyes blue. He turned my pale skin sunkissed. I grew from a patch of grass to a field and I needed his water and sunlight.

That day, I realized that I might have fallen in love.
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emotional sappy chapter by emotional sappy person