who's your daddy? // luke hemmings

trideset

hi. I'm sorry I haven't been updating but my mental health is more important. ive been so stressed out lately and that piled on top of depression has put me into a little bit of a rut. you know the lyric in "outer space//carry on" when Luke sings, "I've got one foot in the golden life, one foot in the gutter"? that's how I feel. every day. I am just apologizing for being 3 weeks late on an update. nobody is even going to read this what am I doing

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sotc: fallingforyou by the 1975

The clock read 12:47 and I wished it were later. Everyone was in their rooms and it was just Luke and I, playing in the moonlight. I pulled him onto the deck and pressed play on the remote, a soothing, familiar song (a/n it's fallingforyou and it's on repeat) pouring out of the speakers. I looked over to Luke who was looking over the water even though we were at the dock, admiring the scene as I was admiring mine. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around him and pressing my cheek against his back. He smelled so good. He turned me around so that I was standing between his arms that were at my sides and I smiled at him.

"Now that's a great view." He sprinkled kisses all over my face and I giggled. "Why are you so quiet tonight, baby?"

"It's surreal, y'know?"

"What is?"

"Just how much I love you." I said without smiling.

"I love you more." He said, pulling me into a hug. We started swaying to the music and were soon dancing to the man-in-love singing in our ears. 

We danced to the song three times before he leaned in to kiss me. I kissed back so softly, but the kiss deepened and Luke pulled me to the couch, setting me beneath him. Luke turned the volume of the music up louder and we continued to kiss, using this to show our love. His arms were wrapped around my torso and my arms hooked under his big arms as I twirled his soft hair in my small fingers. I wrapped one leg around his waist to pull him closer and he breathily moaned into my mouth, sharing air with me. I felt bubbly and tropical but still so serene.

¨Luke?¨ I asked out of breathe shortly before kissing him again.

"Yeah?" He asked with his lips still attached.

"I want tonight to be the night." He detached himself and looked at my with wide eyes.

"B-but I thought you would wait and I don't think you're ready-"

"I promise I'm ready, and I won't tell anyone." I swore. He stared at me questioningly, and I looked away. "If you don't want to, that's okay, too. I'll just wait-"

"It isn't that I don't want to, because God knows I do, but your birthday is in a few weeks and-holy shit, your birthday is in two days. I thought we could just wait until then." I felt stupid for even asking and I moved from under him to the cushion next to him. Way to ruin the night, Hannah.

"Yeah, yeah. I just thought that this was a perfect time and everything and I was just really feeling it, I guess, but that sounds okay. I shouldn't have even said anything; that was so, so stupid of me." We sat in silence as he raked his eyes over me, almost having a debate with himself in his mind.

"You know what, I don't care. Tonight is a good night and this will only be between us; our little secret." He said and scoot closer to me. "Tonight will be all vanilla, okay? No 'daddy', no 'kitten', no toys; just us. I'm not gonna be dominant or anything; this will be slow and careful." He took off his shirt. "Talk to me, tell me what feels good and what hurts. I'm here for you, baby girl."

"Okay." I nodded, gulping. He leaned in close, breathing in my face.

"I don't want to hurt you."