Holding On

Chapter Ten- Breakups and Kisses

~*Zayn's POV*~

"You know what? I don't care!" I yelled my face growing red with anger.

"Zayn please, it didn't mean anything, believe me," Kayleen begged.

"No! You really think I didn't know about the other times? With the other guys?" I asked.

Her face turned pale but still asked for forgiveness. "It won't happen again Zayn, I promise you."

My eyes swelled up with tears as I made up my mind. I couldn't for give her, not anymore. I knew this wasn't the first time, she'd cheated before but I chose to ignore the whispers in the hall. Liam had tried to tell me plenty of times but I just got pissed at him. Not because I thought he was lying, but because I knew it was true. I thought maybe she would change but she just kept doing it. I couldn't take it anymore. As much as it hurt me, I had to end this.

"So that's it? You're going to throw all of this away over a simple mistake I made??" she asked.

"No, don't even try to pin this on me. I didn't do this, you did," I said as salty tears fell from my eyes, "It's over."

"I still love you Zayn," she mumbled.

"That's what hurts me the most Kayleen. I really don't think you do. But you know what, I still do." I told her walking out of her house.

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I walked for hours going nowhere in particular. I had nowhere to go. If I ever felt bad I always went to Kayleen for comfort but I couldn't do that now. I thought of calling Liam but remembered he and Edith were out of town with their families. Over the years their parents had become close with each other after the two started dating. My house was empty since dad was at work like always so there was no use of going there. God if only my mom was still here. I wiped the tears off my face and decided that was who I needed to see. I barely made it to the cemetery before it was all finally too much and I just let it all out falling to my knees in front of my mom's grave.

"I miss you mom. You have no idea how much I could use your help right now. Ever since you...ever since you left dad hasn't been the same. All he does is work all the time, he's never hme. I never get to talk to him anymore. I guess we both miss you. Nothing has been the same." It felt good to finally let everything out. I felt so lonely after my mom died that I guess I had begun to use Kayleen as that replacement comfort. I rested my head against the headstone and just lay there for a few minutes. I closed my eyes and began to think about everything. I guess I must have eventually drifted off to sleep because when I opened my eyes a girl's voice was calling out my name.

"Zayn, are you okay? Zayn!" she yelled while shaking me awake.

"Huh? I'm up," I mumbled as I opened my eyes. I heard a small laugh and when I looked up to see who had awakened me I saw Cecy standing there.

"Cecy?" I asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I was bringing flowers to my grandma," she said, "What are you doing sleeping here?"

All of the previous events suddenly came rushing back giving me a strong headache. Kayleen, the break up, coming to talk to my mom.

"My mom," I answered not wanting to say anything else.

"Oh. I'm sorry," she said sitting down next to me. "How did it happen?"

"Two years ago. Cancer finally beat her but it still seems like it was just yesterday you know?" I answered bringing back some of the tears. I hated talking about it with anyone but Cecy made me feel like it was okay to tell her. "I miss her a lot. She was always there for me."