Miguel and Jedan are walking in the park. Birds sing and flowers bloom. The scent of pine entered their noses. In the park, there is a coop where pigeons stay.
"Close your bag..." sighed Jedan, closing the backpack Miguel carried.
"Jedan, please. I'm a grown man," Miguel shrugged him off. "I beat Aurora!"
"No. All of us did," said Jedan. "We used stolen info Myrmex got from hacking Aurora's mothership."
"Yeah! But without me, we all woulda lost!"
"Yeah. But you barely won. No! You DIDN'T win! She was dominating your ass in the fight COMPLETELY." Jedan sighs and sits on a bench with Miguel.
"Hmph... Least I beat her. Heheheheheheh..."
"No, you didn't."
"Uh... Yes, I did."
"Miguel the end of the fight was her standing and you on the ground. You couldn't even touch her."
Miguel takes a sandwich out of his bag. "Yeah. But I beat her with TRICKS."
"Look. You ARE important to the team. Just stop acting like you're the MOST important."
"I'm not! I'm just-!" Miguel squeezes his sandwich and the tomato falls out of it. "Y'know! Happy!"
"AND CLOSE YOUR BAG!!!" Jedan closes his bag for him.
Miguel finishes the sandwich and opens it again to get another without closing it.
"Goddamn it, Miguel."
"What?"
A pigeon then flies into his bag.
"OH MY GOD!!!" yelled Miguel, before he transformed into an Aswang in daylight, burning his skin. "AAAAAAAH!!! OH MY GOD!!! OH MY GOOOOD!!!"
Jedan tries to take it out only to be pecked on the face. "GET IT OFF!!! AAAAAH!!!"
"STOP MOVING!!!" yelled Miguel, on fire. "I WATCHED JURASSIC PARK!!! THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING LEST YOU MOVE!!!"
"NOT A T-REX!!!"
"BIRDS ARE DINOSAURS!!!"
"STILL... NOT A T-REX!!!"
Miguel transforms back and throws a strike at the bird only for it to fly away leading to him punching Jedan in the face.
*thud...*
"Maybe I should tell Mr. P and Mr. R that I'm straight..." said Miguel.
The bird then lands on Jedan's face and poos.
"AAAAAAAAAA-!!!"
Later...
Prometheus angrily crosses his arms.
The Reaper smiles. "THAT'S GREAT!!!"
"No, it isn't," said Prometheus.
Across the table from them is Miguel, who asks, "WHY NOT!?!? I BEAT THE ULTIMATE HIGH-PRODUCTION VIDEO-MAKING OIL-STRIKING BUSINESSWOMAN SOCIAL INFLUENCER in the MULTIVERSE!!!"
"You're not straight. I said so," said Prometheus. "Listen. I'm bi. He's bi. You? You're bi."
"No, I'm not," said Miguel.
"EVERY MIGUEL I'VE SEEN IS BI!!!"
"No," said the Reaper. "That's not true."
"It's tradition at this point."
"Nope," said Miguel and the Reaper.
"Listen. Your straightness is just a phase," said Prometheus. "Don't worry 'bout it... Check this out..."
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THE BLOOD OF THE ASWANGS PLOT DEVICE|ULTIMATE SATIRICAL COMEDY SHOUNEN SERIES|
HumorThe Gospel Truth According to Miguel Azral 1. He's AN ORPHAN... He's CONFUSED... And he's JOJO POSING... Miguel Azral is a teenage boy who was orphaned by his stepfather, since he was too dirty, TOO ENGLISH-SPEAKING... AND TOO... ASWANG!!? TURNED IN...
