The CoolDudeBus charges into battle. Happy emerged from the bus's sky window and began activating his missiles. "Lock and loaded..." growled Happy, before blasting the Aswangs to oblivion.
"Happy. I suggest you avoid killing them," said Athena. "They're under mind control."
"ROADKILLS MOTHERFUCKER!!! KRRRYYYYYEEEEEAH!!!" growled Happy as he happily fired thru his equipped machine guns at the Aswangs.
"They can regenerate," said Fred. "You ain't doin' any fuckin' damage, ya dumbass mycenean shit-for-brains."
"So, what do you suggest we do!?" asked Happy.
"FLOOR IT!!!" yelled Jedan.
Fred slams his foot on the accelerator and charges into the city. Fred drives around in the terrifying maze of Wallstreet, charging the bus on the sidewalk and crashing into several mailboxes and food carts.
"FRED!!! YOU SAID YOU KNEW HOW TO DRIVE!!!" growled Anna.
"Yeah. In a post-apocalyptic world! I don't know the damned rules in your world! "And can you not drive in staircases!?"
"NO!!!" yelled Lord and Jedan.
Athena looks outside. "ASWANG HORDE INCOMING!!!"
"Yeah. We can SEE that..." said Anna, rummaging thru Prometheus' cooking cabinet.
"What are you doing?" asked Gerard.
"Load the spices in Happy's trunk," said Anna, placing several spice bottles in a compartment in Happy's butt.
"FIRE!!!" yelled Anna.
"Get ready for some action. Time for some allergic reactions," sneered Happy as he blasted spices at the Aswangs.
The Aswangs scream in pain as each is shot by the spices.
"MY EYES!!!" 277
"ALL I SEE IS BURNING AND SUFFERING!!!"
"AAAAH!!! HOLY SALT!!!"
Anna sees that they lose their ability to use Usog at all without their eyes, those blinded by the spices.
"Is... all of Prometheus' spices holy!? How is Miguel able to-?" asked Anna.
"Diwata," said Athena.
"Plus, it only works if it is placed in open-wounds pre-digestion," said Fred.
"Right... KEEP CHARGING!!!" yelled Anna.
A pack of Aswangs began charging beside the bus and began slamming their bodies into its side.
Jedan opens the window and he and Lord begin punching the Aswangs, causing them to crash into the wall and slam into other cars, causing alarms to go off. The cars slam and crash into each other. Jedan growls, seeing some Aswangs flying above the bus so Jedan throws his hands and stretches, grabbing two cars beside him and slamming the cars above the bus and crushing the Aswangs.
"They will proceed to regenerate. I suggest we toss the spices now," said Happy.
"No. That'd kill them. Stay non-lethal," said Anna.
"Fine..." said Happy.
Gerard phases outside and runs at the same speed as the bus, cutting down the Aswangs piece by piece.
Athena helps Anna load the spices. "FIRE!!!"
*BANG!!!*
*poof*
The Aswangs get minor injuries which worsen because of the spices loaded in Happy's bullets. Each bullet flings from Happy's cannons that explode into shrapnel all over the Aswangs' bodies while the spices infect their wounds.
YOU ARE READING
THE BLOOD OF THE ASWANGS PLOT DEVICE|ULTIMATE SATIRICAL COMEDY SHOUNEN SERIES|
HumorThe Gospel Truth According to Miguel Azral 1. He's AN ORPHAN... He's CONFUSED... And he's JOJO POSING... Miguel Azral is a teenage boy who was orphaned by his stepfather, since he was too dirty, TOO ENGLISH-SPEAKING... AND TOO... ASWANG!!? TURNED IN...
