68; Video tapes, empty flats, and arrangements

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Zayn

"Niall? Niall, can you hear me? Niall, come on."

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Niall,  you gotta say something, man. Oh, Niall. You gotta be here with me."

"Is there anything we can do? Anyone else you'd like us to ring?"

"H-Her parents. Someone needs to ring her parents."

"The number?"

"I ... I don't know. I have it somewhere. I, uh, wow. Mind if I sit down for a minute?"

"Of course, dear. Do you need anything."

"No, I'm fine. Wow. I .. uh .. I'll get you their number. I have it somewhere, I do. Let me just get you their number."

"Niall? Niall, I'm so fucking sorry. Niall, can you hear me? Man, come on. Answer me."

"Her sister also. She should be here. You need to ring her. Let me just find the number. I have it somewhere, I do."

"Are you sure you're okay, ma'am?"

"Niall!"

"Look, I'm fine. Just please ring her family. Please. They need to know. I ... have it somewhere ..."

"You need to sit down, love."

"I said I'm fine! If you won't ring her goddamn family then I'll bloody well do it myself!"

"Niall, man. I ... I can't do this. Niall, answer me!"

"I'm so terribly sorry. There was nothing we could do."

"Niall! Oh, god, oh, god. Niall."

"If we could be left alone for a minute please?"

"Certainly. Again, I'm so sorry."

"Niall?"

"Zayn?"

"I'm so very sorry for your loss."

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Niall didn't want to leave the hospital.

He wasn't allowed to see her, none of us were, and I think that just made it all worse. He said he wouldn't ever leave her, and he meant it. He stayed absolutely still, not even moving a muscle, and stayed right on that waiting room chair until they kicked him out. 

It was about a day later when that happened.

Everyone was shocked, that was the main thing. The shock outweighed the sadness. But worst of all was the emptiness, the complete and utter hole left in all of our hearts at the absence of her.

She was really gone.

Violet and I quickly decided that Niall needed all the help he could get. We both made an unspoken agreement to stick together, for the sake of Niall. For the sake of her. I had no time to cry, no time to feel anything. Niall was everything I could focus on.

Violet hadn't stopped organising since the moment she found out. She was in the middle of arranging the funeral, such a big task but I think she enjoyed the distraction. To be honest with you I think she needed it. 

We all needed something to hold onto.

The parents and family were gathering themselves around London. We all met in the hospital and everyone gripped onto Niall like he was their anchor. I think he needed that. No one could believe it at first, in fact I think they still really don't. How can you? She was everything that life was. 

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