Conquering All (Boyxboy)

Chapter Four: Too Perfect

Chapter Four: Too Perfect

Through the dim light of the parking lot, Blake's cobalt eyes shone with a fierce glare aimed directly at me. My face fell void of all life and my blood ran cold. In a second, all my confidence disappeared. I felt sick to my stomach. And this was all before he even spoke his reply. "What do you think you're doing?"

God I wanted to be such a smartass and say 'standing here', but I held off. Mostly out of fear. However, Blake was so impatiently waiting for an answer. "Huh!?" he grunted, stepping forward. I felt a shiver of fright crawl up my spine and I stepped back.

What? Did he completely forget about the kiss from this morning? I guess my theory was right. Things can only get worse from here.

Blake stepped forward towards me and began to pace steadily towards me. Finally he stopped right at the curb where he relieved himself. Standing under a light, his entire figure was now illumined. Now, at this distance, I could suddenly feel something different between us. The connection was less tense. A lot less tense! Though his expression was plain, I sensed a tremendous amount of animosity suddenly lost. It was enough to make my nerves subside somewhat.

"Why did you kiss me today?" I blurted out, suddenly. Immediately I regretted that decision. It wasn't even my decision, it just happened.

"Kiss you?!" he spat back. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

That was that. My confidence left in a millisecond. I stood frozen like a deer in the headlights. But, did he just deny it? How can he just deny it!? He can not possibly deny such an intimate thing! And, I'm pretty sure it happened!

"You lil' faggot, what did you say?" he began to step towards me. My gut dropped and it exploded with fear. The life drained from my face, leaving me a lifeless pale. He approached me with his usual ferocity. I backed up against the wall and swallowed the harsh lump in my throat. "Well," he spat harshly. "I don't know where you got that fucking lie. But," he grabbed my collar. I let out an embarrassing squeal. He held me up, suspended in the air. Our gazes locked in a fearful stare. "you better not fucking tell anyone about that."

That was a tell. His voice got softer at his last thought. It really did happen.

"I-I-I ... won't," I whispered out. "l-l-like I said, who ... would be-believe m-me?"

Blake's eyes flickered with a hint of something. I couldn't place what it was. But, he let me go. With a harsh glare, he stared me down .... But, I felt nothing. Yeah. That is right. I felt nothing. When he turned his back, and I knew that no one was watching right now, I took a daring step,

"You did kiss me," I said simply. He froze in his tracks. He spun around and looked more surprised than anything. "Because you're just like me! Gay. All those names you called me all ... affect you! Yeah, you're a homo, faggot, queer! Yeah, and you told me about all your fatherly problems too!"

Whoa.

That ... was not Jayden. No, that was in no way whatsoever Jayden Roberts. I would never say that. Never! Under any circumstances. Especially not these. I don't even know what's going on right now! But what I just said was not becoming of me, and it was not me! Moreover, the crushing guilt that came over me was nothing like anything I've ever experienced. It was even worse than the fear that Blake gave me on a daily basis. At that point, I wasn't even afraid of him hurting me to a new degree, but I was more afraid of my own debilitating guilt and humility.

My knees felt weak. My whole body trembled with a cocktail of fear and guilt. I collapsed to my knees, burying my face in my palms. Somehow, five words were stuck in my head, 'Blake did not deserve that.' Tears stung the back of my eyes and quickly welled up, squeezing through my tightly shut eye lids. I inhaled a violently shaking breath and sputtered out, "I-I-I-I'm ... s-s-s ... s-sorry."