When your lost you can always be found

I speak to God

I'm really debating if I should call Troy right now. He's still mad at me and I doubt he would be able to get here anyway.

I groan, knowing I will have to call Pastor John. He's probably upset and wondering why I ditched the kids, and I'm too embarrassed to tell him.

After a few rings he picks up.

"Hello." I dont say anything.

"Isabella?"

I hang up. I cant do it just hearing his voice reminds me that I screwed up. I turn on my bench to the sound of shuffling behind me. I stand up.

It cant be.

But it is.

Ravi.

And now he's come to kill me.

I turn and start running again, not looking over my shoulder as I hear footsteps thundering behind me.

After a minute I cant go on.

This is the end. It's my own fault.

I'll die here, Ravi will go to jail, noone will notice my absence, they might even throw a party.

"Isa-bella." Ravi sounds different...like Troy.

My heart jumps as I turn around to face an out of breath, red-faced Troy.

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I look at Troy on the bus, he hasn't spoken yet and after half an hour I've mustered the courage to break the silence.

"Troy...I'm sorry." I sounded so pathetic. I've never apologized to anyone so I don't have much knowledge in that area.

He doesn't look at me. I wonder why did he even bothered coming after me.

I sigh, thinking back to those words he said to me.

Was I really desperate?

I guess I was, I had been with alot of guys, and I was always at a club.

But I know I'm not selfish or cold. I just give people what they deserve. As a matter of fact I'm very giving.

A girl gets on the bus and sits in front of us. She turns around and smiles at Troy totally ignoring me. She had desperate written all over her.

"Hello, are you visiting from America?"

Troy flashes her a smile and says yes.

She smiles back and says,

"I'm Raanana, it's Hebrew for beautiful." Unfortunately, she really was beautiful I roll my eyes as Troy responds, obviously into her. Whatever, I'm so not jealous.

"I'm Troy," he says, "where are you headed?"

She gives him a confused look and I have to stifle my laughter.

"I meant, where are you going." He clarified.

Turns out we were all headed to Israel, yay.

But thankfully she was going into the military. Apparently in Israel anybody who was able had to enlist.

Ha! I'd die before I did that much work.

"Hey," I say getting annoyed as they started a converation without me.

"I'm Isabella," I adress the girl.

She briefly smiles at me and turns back to Troy as if I hadn't even spoken. Fine, ignore me. I'll just go to sleep and stay out of your way.

When we descend from the bus, Troy's new friend is on our heels. Now I'm irritated. We go up to Troy's and my room. Mrs. Platinum sits on his bed as if it were hers. Digusted, I head downstairs to face Pastor John so he doesnt tell me off in front of everyone tomorrow.

Knock, knock.

I hear shuffling on the other side of the door as he comes to answer.

"Isabella," he says, enveloping me in a hug.

I try not to cry, I was suprised he even hugged me.

"You-You're not mad?"

"No, that's not my job" he shakes his head, "I'm not mad, just disappointed. But you know, I have forgiven you Isabella, I just hope you will forgive yourself. Goodnight."

He smiles and closes the door.

I trudge back upstairs and thankfully the girl is gone and Troy is asleep. Taking off my pants I slip into my bed.

I do what I least epected to do.

I speak to God.