Chapter-20: Damn Regret
*Jeydon's POV*
Ugh, why do I have to be such an asshole? I broke up with the best thing that has ever happened to me. I miss her so much and now I've lost her. Her and I have been on basic speaking terms. It's so hard to fight back the tears when I hear her voice because it breaks my heart.
She has Kellin, now apparently. And Copeland is calling her mom? I can't take it. I honestly just want to move on and forget everything. It is to painful. I want her back but that's obviously not happening. She's happy and I have to accept that but it is so hard watching the person you love cuddle up to another man. I have to watch them holding hands and stealing kisses. I can't do this to myself anymore. Yet when I look into Jayde's eyes, the twinkle is missing. Damon, Mariah, Jayde and I all hung out the other day. It was great actually. All couple stuff was forgotten about and everything seemed normal, except the awkwardness between Jayde and I.
I have no idea why I am being so selfish, it's my fault. I broke her heart and Kellin is healing her. As much as I want it to be me... I want her to be happy more. Yet her smile and her happiness seem fake, like it's an act. Maybe I am hallucinating. Maybe it's just because I can't stand her being happy with another man. Fuck life.
I broke down and put my fist through the dry wall. I can't keep doing this to myself. It's way to unhealthy.
She's just a damn regret.
*Jayde's POV*
The past few days have been interesting. I agreed to let Copeland call me mom for the simple fact that Katelyn has called and said she wants nothing to do with Kellin or Copeland and because Copeland is going to need a female figure in her life. I am happy with Kellin but I contradict myself all the time. My past haunts me, all the time. It eats away at my soul.
I am sitting her with Mariah and Damon watching a movie. I am happy for them. I overreacted the other day, I didn't mean to make it seem like try we're full of themselves. I was just hurt because I had just broken up with Jeydon and I didn't want to see reminders of what used to be.
Jeydon and I have been trying to be friends. It is just hard, for both of us. He hates the fact that I am with Kellin now even though it isn't official. I can see it in his eyes. But everytime he is around my heart breaks a little more and I fake my smile to keep myself from breaking down. After the breakup I have felt so vulnerable. So naive. So stupid.
"Aye Jayde! Wanna double date tomorrow? A picnic in the park? You, Kellin, Copeland, Damon and I?" Mariah asked me as she smile warmly. Her eyes glinting with excitement. "Sounds like a date," I said as I yawned. Gosh what has come over me? I'm so tired, but that's probably because I barely eat anymore. "Guys, thank you for tonight. I needed this. Just me and my besties. But I am exhausted," I said as I stood up and hugged both of them.
"We understand," said Damon as he yawned too. Mariah just cuddled up into him. They're so adorable together. I headed up the stairs towards mine and Kellin's room. We haven't done anything and honestly I don't plan on it. Even before we started acting as a couple he's been staying in my room since the breakup a because I am constantly waking up in the middle of the night.
I finally reached my room and opened the door to see Kellin and Copeland sprawled out on my bed. I quickly pulled out my phone and snapped a picture. They looked so friggin' cute. I quickly put it on Instagram, the caption read: I come upstairs to bed to find my gremlins have taken it over.<3 @kellinquinn #adorable #forevermine
I uploaded the picture and threw my phone into the bean bag chair. I changed into a pair of sweatpants, tied my hair into a bun and walked over to my side of the bed.
"Kellin, move your ass over," I whispered not wanting to wake up Copeland. Kellin's eyes fluttered open as he mumbled profanities and moved over before falling back asleep. I gently moved Copeland over before climbing into bed and drifting asleep. The last thing I remember before I let darkness consume me was Copeland cuddling into my side, kissing my cheek and saying "I love you momma."
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Hey! It's been a while! Please stick with me, I am not the best writer so my apologies! Katelynn would never leave Copeland or Kellin, it's just a fanfic. So please COMMENT, VOTE AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Stay beautiful! Xx
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