Demi
It does get easier the more time that goes by, but the pain I feel whenever I think about Delaney is severe no matter how long it's been. I try not to let myself think too many details about her. I try to focus on what she looked like that day I held her in my arms & had to say goodbye to her, not about what she could have become or what I could have done differently. Those were the thoughts that fucked with my head & made me want to use or cut. Thank God, I had Nick, though. He was the only other person who truly knew what I felt & could relate to it, with me. He helped me stay strong on those days that I wanted to crumble.
My TV show had been on the air for five weeks & it was getting amazing reviews. The soundtrack was also doing really well. Since I was one of the producers, I was getting asked to do interviews often. Nick & Mercy were as well, since their song & video was raising a lot of money for our camp. Nick & I both agreed we wouldn't do any interviews out of town until after the holidays. We knew how precious our time was right now, since the following year was going to be insane for the both of us.
November flew by quickly between Christmas shopping & all the activities the kids had going on. Nick & I tried to make time for ourselves as much as we could, but it was proving to be very difficult. Even at the end of the day when we usually came together, one of us would fall asleep before we could even have a conversation. Nick was spending a lot of time with his brothers, as well, which was great to see. They would sometimes do things together with just them or sometimes they would take some kids along. I would hang out with Blanda, Dani & my sisters once in a while, but we always seemed to have children around us. It was hardly ever just the girls.
The holidays were upon us before we knew it. The weekend after Thanksgiving, Nick & Mercy headed to New York city to see The Nutcracker. They sent me pictures once an hour I swear, mostly Mercy taking selfies with her dad in the background, looking adorable as he tried to be a good sport. A few times he took the selfie which made me giggle but also made me miss him more.
They Skyped with me right before they saw the show & right after to let me know Mercy had fallen in love with it. She suddenly wanted to get back into ballet & her other dance classes that she hadn't done in a year or so. I had to laugh at her, sometimes, she was so much like Nick, always having to keep busy & always trying to push herself. The dancing bug, however, did not come from Nick & I really wasn't sure where she got it.
When Mercy got home from New York, Sunday evening, she spent over an hour telling me about the trip & showing me all the photos she took with her phone. She had the most amazing time & it warmed my heart, honestly, that she had that incredible memory with her dad. She was living out the childhood I had always dreamed of & it made me emotional, when I thought about it. Nick must have seen me trying not to cry, because after the kids were in bed, he grabbed me, hugging me tightly.
"You know how much I missed you this weekend?" He asked, in a low voice.
"How much?" I smiled.
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ForeverLasting (Book 10 in Nemi Forever Series)
FanfictionThe tenth book in the Forever Series.... this book will have Nick & Demi dealing with new career endeavors, after years of just laying low as a regular family. They're approaching middle age & their children are getting older, so the craziness will...