The blonde & The bad

Chapter nineteen

'The biggest mistake you can make, is letting someone stay in your life longer than they deserve to.'

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“OMG, James you’re back.” Daniel came running towards me as I entered the school. I didn’t even got time to respond or she was already hugging me.

“I’m sorry about your mother.” She said, before letting me go. Hugh and I went to Chicago for a week, organizing a funeral and of course going to the funeral. I had texted the girls my mom had just died and that we were going to her funeral, letting out some minor details. I was not going to tell them she was murdered a few years ago and that she was finally found. Only Damon knew and I wanted to keep it that way, Damon had been a great support through this week. He said I could text him when I needed to talk to someone, and it was a big relieve to be able and talk about it with someone. I never felt like opening up to anybody, but when Damon made me talk to him last week I felt so good. It was like this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, letting me breath again.

“People were saying you and Guy hooked up and that he left you, after that you were so heartbroken you moved away. Fortunately you texted us the truth, otherwise I don’t know what I would believe.” I laughed at Daniel and her naïve personality.

“Oh and of course Guy telling the whole school they needed to shut the fuck up about you and have some respect helped.” I stopped laughing and frowned at her.

“What?” Was all that came out.

“Yeah he was really pissed at people who said something like that. Does he knows about your mom?” I nodded and started walking towards my locker, knowing Daniel would follow.

“He came by when I didn’t go to school Tuesday, he was really shocked when he found me all crying.” I thought back to that moment. I was home alone and I had indeed been crying all day, all the memories with my mom came back and I felt like it was all happening again. When things you try to forget start coming back to you, it doesn’t leave behind the smallest details. It comes with all the minor things, those days when she would wake me up on a good day and she would smile as she looked down at me. Those days when she would open the door and let me see the sunlight, those days that she would give me some toys and she would play with me for hours. Those days that I felt good, while being kept in a my own private hell.

I woke up Tuesday morning crying and screaming in Marc’s arms, even after taking my pills I could not get away from the nightmare. After that morning everything I did reminded me of my mom or Carl, I couldn’t do anything without crying. And when Marc told me he had to arrange some things for the funeral and had to leave me all by myself, I decided to take a long hot shower.

Guy had showed up when I had just finished the shower and I was slowly putting some clothes on. We talked that morning about a lot. I told him about my mother, he told me about his mother, who he had never met but only knew from stories and pictures. He was like that Sunday, sweet and caring, so different from what people thought.

“James? James?” Daniel waved her hand in front of my eyes and I snapped back to reality.

“What just happened?” She said when I turned to smile at her.

“I dozed off.” I said and continued my walk to my locker.

“You just stopped walking and it was like you were hypnotized. Hah. You should’ve seen yourself.” Hard laughter escaped her lips and it made me laugh to.

“I have a feeling it looked quite funny.” She nodded her head heavily.

“But I have PE , so see you at lunch.” And she was gone, I ignored her sudden disappearing act and continued the walk towards my locker. Every person that was staring at me turned their head when I gave them a friendly smile, how would they look at me if they knew the entire story? I think everybody would be afraid of me or have a lot of pity for me. I opened my locker and threw my jacket in it, along with some of the books I wasn’t going to need.