The blonde & The bad

Chapter twenty-two

'The truth is. The only part of destiny we can control, is the fate we choose for another.'

His face changed the moment I slammed the car door closed. His messy hair only got messier when he ruffled through it, confused. Guy waited for me to help him walk towards the house, with every step we got closer my breath got worse. I looked at Guy, back to Damon and to Guy. My throat was shutting down and I could feel how my lungs ran out of air, demanding me to get air but not a muscle in my body let me.

“Guy.” He said so sincerely happy. “Jamey.” He winced his eyes at me, my heart pounding in my head so hard I could barely hear my own thoughts. I bit the inside of my cheek, hard, until I felt the metal taste flow into my mouth. Damon walked over to us, helping Guy up the steps. Guy’s arm, wrapped around my waist, tightened with Damon’s arm brushing slightly against mine. I went back to biting on my cheek again, ignoring the awful taste bringing back so many memories. The blood flooding around in my mouth was the only thing that distracted me.

“What did you do.” Damon’s voice was weak, but he was the first one to bring out a full sentence. I looked up to him, but unlike me Guy’s eyes were focused on me. I sighed and looked back down, my nails digging into both my palms. Guy turned his head, looking at Damon

“Some people were.” He stopped, looking back at me. “Just being dicks.” And back to Damon. By now I wouldn’t be surprised if the blood would be flooding down my hands, leaving a trail of blood drops. It was like hurting myself was the only thing that would distract my heart from feeling the pain they caused me to have.

“People? As in plural?” Damon closed the door behind us and Guy nodded at him. I had never found so many interest in my shoes before but I just couldn’t stop staring at them.

“Set him down on the sofa, I’ll get some ice.” I walked Guy to the sofa as Damon rushed to the next room.

“How are you feeling?” I looked Guy in the eyes, a bloody smirk across his face. I took some steps back, seeing only one person in that smile. Carl. Not that Guy looked like Carl, but the smile surrounded by blood did. That moment when Carl’s blood gulped out of his mouth and all he did was laugh. I never understand why he laughed so hard while he was dying, but I did know that it caused me more pain than it should have.

“I feel a little tension.” He said, a laughter escaped his lips. I looked at him, horror rushing through my body. I could feel his pain, Carl’s pain. The pain he felt when I killed him. I didn’t save myself, I wasn’t the hero people said I was. I was a cold blooded murderer and there was nothing that could change that.

I walked back more, Guy had stopped laughing and was now looking at me, confused. The blood I had been swallowing was dripping down my cheek, I knocked over a chair and turned around. My body weak, my legs shaking, blood dripping from my lips and my head aching, I ran. I ran out of the house, into the cool night. It didn’t feel right to stay, so like always I ran away.

I ran over the little stones, towards the road ahead. Into the dark night, the dark night that looked like nothing. Exactly like I needed, nothing. The only thing I need right now, is air, peace and myself.

“Jamey.” I looked back, it was Guy hopping on one leg down the steps. I looked at him, how he tried to get to me, but struggled a lot. My foot slipped, my balance was gone and I hit the ground. My elbow scraped over the ground, my head crashed into the hard surface and my back followed. I let out a shriek of pain, before I closed my eyes.

“Jamey, Jamey, wake up. Please.” Guy shook my body, harder with every second I didn’t respond. I raised my hand, laid it on his but kept my eyes closed.