The blonde & The bad

chapter twenty-six

'People build up walls, not to keep others out but to see who cares enough to break them down."

“Are you being serious?” He stopped the car and turned around in his seat, he grabbed my hand and looked me straight in the eyes.

“You can tell me the truth you don’t have to make up such a horrible story.” He softly squeezed my hand and gave me a modest smile.

“I’m being super serious, he kissed me and then started crying because he didn’t know who I was. I was 10.” He laughed and looked down at our hands.

“So he was 8?” I laughed and let go of his hand, turned around to open my door and stepped out.

“Just because he cried after giving a strange 10 year old girl her first kiss, doesn’t mean he was 8.” I closed the door and waited for him to get out. Even from outside the car I could hear the hard laughter coming from inside the car.

“It actually does.” He got out of the car and closed the door with a loud thud, the noise got me up to my feet and I made my way to his arm.

“He was 12.” I whispered as I hooked my arm through his, he stopped walking turned to me and gave me a serious look.

“Are you sure it was a he?” I rolled my eyes at him and made my way towards the front door, I waited for him to come up to me and open the door but all he could do was laugh.

“How do you even work at a high school, especially as a guidance counselor.” I turned around to look at the blond creature bend over, laughing.

“I do have some wisdom, I may not show it all of the time but it’s there.” I let out a deep sigh and sat down on the steps in front of the big old house, belonging to this guy. He stopped laughing and looked up at me.

“Can I be honest with you.” His mood had turned around just like that, the laughing sound had faded away and his serious face was back on. I swallowed a big lump away and slowly nodded at him, afraid of what was coming next.

“Do you ever just want to get away from everything?” He walked over to me and I watched how he sat himself down next to me. His eyes burning a hole in my head.

“Of course I do. Sometimes I just think the people around me, the people I care about, don’t deserve the pain I put them through.” I grabbed my lips and squeezed them tight, mad at them for letting that out. But I knew that for some reason, no matter what happens Damon will always manage to get the truth out of me.

“Does that mean you forget that those people, who don’t deserve so much pain, include you.” I released my lips and bowed my head down, too afraid to show him how much that hurt me.

“I may not be a person who deserves so much pain, but who does? Sometimes you hear people say, I don’t serve this. But how would you know what you really deserve? How do you know when the pain you’re feeling is worse than the pain others are feeling? You don’t, you don’t know how others think about the world about their lives. There are so many people who will just act happy, while in the inside they’re slowly dying. They’re losing themselves bit by bit, so what gives me the reason to say I don’t deserve this pain? I went through something bad, but it made me the person I am today. It made me strong, positive and true. And to be honest, these past month I have been able to say I’m happy and truly mean it. So you may think I don’t deserve pain, but remember that nobody does.” He put his hand on my leg and slowly stroke it, I felt how a tear slipped away but I let it. Feeling how good it felt, being honest to him and to me too.

“I’ve never been to my parent’s or Brian’s grave, I wasn’t even there on the funeral. I’m not even sure if I have closed their chapter in my life.” He squeezed my leg and I looked up to him, he was biting his lips as he fought against the tears.

“You don’t have to. Parents are in your life to push you into the right direction and teach you how to live your life as the person you are meant to be. Alive or not. And for Brian, he came into your life to love you and be loved by you. It wouldn’t be right if you just forgot about them, as long as you realize that it’s okay to move on.” I grabbed his hand and stroke his palm with my thumb as I looked down at our hands.

“Jamey” I looked up to him, intertwined our hands and nodded at him “I love you” he whispered and watched me as I processed those three words. I always doubted that it was true that people could fall in love so fast but when I looked in his eyes I felt it. I felt how I wanted to be with him and only him, I felt how I could look into those big brown eyes forever, I felt how he could make me glow from the inside and I felt how I loved him.

“I love you.” I whispered back before I softly pushed my lips against his and pulled back before he could do anything. I put my forehead against his and looked down at our hands, still intertwined. I played with his hand and put mine against his. “I love you.” I said again, and looked back into those beautiful eyes. He smiled and kissed me as he slowly stood up, pulling me with him.

He walked towards the door and pulled out his keys, while he continued to kiss me. He laughed as his search for his keys failed, I pulled back and smiled at him. He was still holding my hand, as he stood there opening the door. I laughed and touched my lips as I could feel a rush of happiness shiver through my body. He opened the door but instead of walking in he turned around to look at me.

“I know I told you I would take you somewhere special, but not anymore.” I frowned at him and he just simply smiled back. “I wanted to bring you to the cemetery where my parents and Brian are lying, but to be honest I just want to hold you in my arms and be with you.” I smiled at the fact that he wanted to take me with him to the cemetery, as weird as it sounds. But I melted at the part where he just wanted to hold me in his arms, because it’s exactly what I need.

I walked up to him and kissed him hard, he smiled before he returned my kiss and walked backwards into the house. I closed the door with my foot as I continued to kiss him. I managed to lead him towards the stairs and when he realized where this was going he pulled back.

“I don’t want to make you feel like you need to, just because we know where we are standing.” I smiled at his sweet statement. “I want to.” I had already fallen hard for him, so I knew that I wanted him to be my first. And it felt right, it felt so right.

He stumbled up the stairs backwards and a few times I could feel his lips tremble as he laughed. We were on solid ground again and the moment he realized where we were, he pulled my shirt off and started kissing my neck. I let out a moan of pleasure and held his shirt tight in my knuckles, before I pulled it of his body. He continued to trail down with his kisses as I laid my hands on his belt. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist and grabbed his chin. I kissed him as he turned around to walk towards his bedroom. I felt my bare back rush into the door as he tried to open the door, with his one free hand. I started kissing his neck, giving him space to move his head and look ahead. He walked into the room and stopped in front of the bed, I stopped kissing and looked at him as he let me fall on the bed. I laughed and crawled a bit up on the bed , laying my head down on the pillows. I looked at his bare chest as he tried to pull of my shoes, I laughed as he struggled for a moment. But as soon as he had also taken of his shoes he crawled over the bed towards me. I laid my hands on his shoulders and I slowly found my hands wrapped around his belt opening, ready to unbuckle the thing. But before I could do anything he pushed his body on top of mine, and I softly dug my nails in his back.

He went back to kissing my right cheek and I stroke his bare back, enjoying every touch of our bodies. He pushed himself up from me and started unbuckling his belt, I tried pulling down my jeans but he was in my way. He laughed and got off of me as he pulled down his pants and I stood up, also pulling down my pants. As soon as the thing was off I turned around and saw him standing there in his underwear, I sat on my knees on the bed and waited for him to turn around. As soon as he did, the smile on his face grew wider when he looked at my body. I was aware of the scars but he wasn’t, and it only made things more perfect. He crawled over the bed towards me and lifted me up to lay me down, he looked me in the eyes one more time.

“I love you.” He whispered before he slowly let his hand slid down, I could feel every part of my body heat up and I was loving it all. I loved the way our skin brushed against each other, I loved his lips present on my lips and most of all I did really love him.