shit

Chapter 10 take a shit

I didn't sleep last night. I was half confused, half traumatized. Am I the only one who knows this? I desperately wait to go to school so I can find Kenny.
At school, I run down the hallways and look for Kenny. I see his locker, but nobody's there. I run up to Kyle.

"Where's Kenny?" I ask.

Kyle looks at me weird. "He was running late this morning, I don't know dude."

I keep running and searching for him. I turned the corner and saw an orange coat.

"Kenny!" I shout. "You're alive!"

He turns around as I run into him and hug him.

"You remember?" He asks, hugging me back.

"Yes, I remember. I'm so sorry, the pain you must have been in all those times, why does this keep happening?"

"I've yet to know myself, but when I do find out, I'll let you know. You have no idea how relieved I am that someone's finally aware. Someone finally will care."

I hug him tighter. He sounds like he's in so much pain. It's sad to think he will never be at rest. I wonder how long it will finally be until he's free. Hopefully a long time from now.
My mind keeps thinking about all those times that Kenny died. It's like I'm having this horrible nightmare. All I see is his blood and severed body, burning alive, blowing up. It's haunting me. I can't focus anymore. Is Kenny okay? He acts like it's perfectly normal. He doesn't like it, but it's all normal for him. I can't wrap my head around this, but somehow I still understand. My brain keeps freaking out, waiting for the next thing to happen and see if it will affect Kenny's life.
~
Today was shit. I've been stressing about everything. As soon as I get home I run straight to my room and drink the shit away. Everything has just been so shitty. My parents split, Wendy and I split, I moved away from my friends and now Kenny keeps dying. Everything is changing. I haven't spent much time with Kyle in a long time. What if I lose him? What if I lose all my friends because I don't live close to them anymore? I'm losing everything. I know it's going to happen faster than I'd like. I don't know what I can do.

"Stan, Kyle's here to see you!" My dad calls me.

I hurry out, trying to look as stable as I can. I've missed Kyle.

"Hey dude," he smiles. "Wanna come hang out?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll be right out." I say, going back to my room and making sure I look decent. Good enough. Kyle and I start walking around town. At least this time nobody's dying. God I hope I didn't just jinx that.

"Hey, Stan?" Kyle looks at me. "Have you been doing okay? You've been keeping to yourself a lot and you always look down. I know it's been hard for you lately. I'm here for you. I hope you know that."

I smile back. "Thanks Kyle. I'm fine right now."

I figure I don't want to get into it right now. Not when it's the first time we're hanging out in a while. I choose to have fun this time. I choose to go play video games and watch Terrance and Phillip with my best friend and I won't let any depression get in the way of it. Not today. Hopefully not ever.