shit

Chapter 17 shitty support

"I don't want to do this," I mumble. "I don't need help."

"Stanley, you get out of this car and march right on in there. You're going to get help and you do need it." Mom points at the door.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. God dammit. She keeps staring at me angrily until I finally get out of the car.

"I love you Stanley, I'll pick you up right after, okay?" She drives off.

Shit. I hate everything. I haven't had anything to drink in so long. Everything looks like shit. Everyone looks like shit. I'd rather be dead.
I walk into the first meeting and sit down.

"Alright everyone, let's get started." The leader calls everyone in. "Alright we have a new member today so we're going to start with him, alright? Alright. Stand up and we're going to start with your name and condition, then fill us in a little more on why you're here."

I stand up and roll my eyes. "Yeah, okay hi. My name's Stan. I'm an alcoholic." I pause, noticing everyone around the room looks shocked. Then I realize I'm only ten. Most of these people are in their late teens and early adult years. I become more nervous to speak. "I'm here because I have Aspergers and the support group I had gone to before told me I could solve all my problems with alcohol. I went with it, because it worked. Now it's just a normal thing. I'm legally supposed to be here now because I faced some trouble with alcohol poisoning. I'm fine though, I just need to take it easy."

The leader raised an eyebrow and stared wide eyed. "Um, alright." He hesitated. "Stan, we're here for you. We're going to make you better, alright?"

Like I haven't heard that before. I don't need to be better. I need to be drunk. I didn't pay attention to the rest of the session. They were all self pitying drama queens. Some guy made a whole lecture of his problem with addiction. Nobody here really seems to care. That's some shitty support. The only one who cares is the leader, and that's because he's getting paid to care. This is all a joke. Some sick bullshit punchline if you ask me. I hate my life so bad. I don't know what to do about it though. Maybe I should talk to Kyle. He might be able to help me, I mean he's always been there. He's just a good friend. That's why he makes me happy. I don't have to be in love with him for him to make me happy. But it still doesn't feel the same. I'm probably still not over Wendy yet and I'm just desperate. It'll pass over. It has to eventually, right?