shit

Chapter 20 shit?

I know what I have to do now-

"Stan?" My dad calls me from my room. "Kyle came by to see you again. I'm going to the store. I trust Kyle to keep watch over you and make sure you don't get into anything, so don't try okay?"

Kyle's here. What is he here for? We wait in silence before my dad walks out the door.

"Stan," Kyle says, "we need to talk."

His hands are in his pockets like something's wrong. Of course something's wrong. I walked away from him after our friend just died. He just doesn't know. He doesn't understand.

"Stan, is there anything I can do to help you through this? You've been so depressed. It's hard to see you this way. I know I shouldn't have brought up anything. Especially in front of all those people. I was just upset about Kenny and I didn't know what was going on in your head. It's best that we stick together through this. Nobody is getting anywhere on their own."

I shrugged. "Well, you know things have been weird lately. But what I said about Kenny is true. Tonight, think long and hard about it. Try to remember it. If it takes all night, maybe give it a try. Kenny will be here tomorrow and he will be just fine. I don't know. Maybe I just feel sick." I wander towards the kitchen. I can't control myself.

Kyle stops me in my path. "No, Stan. Drinking will not make you better. I'm here to take care of you and make you happy."

"Don't you see?" I sigh and drop my shoulders. "I can't be fucking happy."

"I think you can. It may seem that way now, but it can happen. What are some things you like? Sometimes those things can start to make you feel better."

The thought brews in my mind. I struggle to hold back the words I can only keep to myself. If I slip now, I could ruin it all.

"I think I like you!" I shout, knowing what could happen next could only go two separate ways. Kyle pauses. He stares at me, not knowing what to say. I continue to speak. "I think. I don't know. It's hard to explain. When I was in that coma I dreamt of you, only you. It made me happy. Now I don't know what makes me happy. I guess it was just the idea of not being awake for a week. I don't know what I feel."

Kyle hesitates, then grabs my hand. "You know, there is one way you can tell." He smiles.

"What? How?" I look down nervously.

He didn't say anything. I look up only to have his lips meet mine. He didn't stop a second before hand. He just went for it.

"Do you feel anything now?" His face burning red.

I stare wide eyed, trying to think. Did I feel anything? There's something deep down. I can't make out if it's happiness, disgust, love, whatever the hell it may be.

"I-I can't tell what it is." I shake my head.

He thought about it for a second. "Well that was a cool experiment."

I smirked at his comment. Does this mean we just forget it all?