shit

Chapter 16 doesn't mean shit

I wake up. I'm in my old room at my old house. I go downstairs and see mom and dad in the kitchen. They smile at each other as dad kisses mom on the forehead and leaves for work. I feel like I'm actually aware of what's going on. I'm sober.
Holy shit.
I'm sober. I feel so happy. I can't wait to go do stuff and love every minute of it and speak of something I enjoy and be able to feel so passionate about it. I can hardly wait to see my friends and hang out after school and have fun this time.
I walk to the bus stop barely containing my excitement. Kyle's the only one here. Cartman and Kenny are either running late or playing hooky. Probably playing hooky. No matter, I'll see them later. At least Kyle's here.
The bus makes a sharp stop before us. I don't even worry about it hitting me, I'm too happy. We board the bus. Nobody else is on here. It's still just Kyle and I. This doesn't seem weird to Kyle, maybe they all got sick or something.

"Butters probably gave everyone the chicken pox, heh." I joke.

Kyle looks so unamused. I guess it wasn't as funny as I'd thought.
At school, it remains the same. Nobody seems to be around.

"Where is everybody?" I ask Kyle.

He turns to me. "Everyone's gone. It's just us now." He looks forward as though it wasn't a big deal.

Something deep down feels like I should be more worried, but I can't seem to care much now. It doesn't affect me. I'll continue to be happy, even if it's a little lonely.

-

"Stan," my dad whispers. "Stan wake up."

I'm still in the hospital. God dammit. Wait, the dream. It didn't answer my question. It didn't answer my fucking question. It didn't tell me enough. Nothing happened between us. How am I supposed to tell with so little hints. Yeah, for the most part it was just us, but he didn't even hug. I still managed to be happy, though. What the hell does any of this mean?

"Dad I'm going back to sleep." I close my eyes.

"No Stan, we need to talk." He shakes me until I open my eyes again. "You're going to be released from the hospital today. We already settled in court that nothing would change, you still can live with me but you can't drink anymore. You have to understand if anything happens and you get caught drinking again, you might get taken away. Quite possibly away from here. And I know you're going to hate it, but your mother and I are forced to send you to that alcoholic support group now. Your first session is on Saturday and you're supposed to go for an hour every Saturday and Wednesday. I'm sorry, Stan."

He puts his hand on my shoulder as though it's gone to comfort me.

"Dad I don't need help." I roll my eyes.

"I'm legally suppose to say you most definitely do. I'm sorry."

This sucks ass. You'd think they would consider what happened the last time they put me in a support group. Whatever. It's all just bullshit. We all know I'm going to drink again, since I obviously can't find what's making me happy. I'm not going to talk to Kyle about it, I won't talk to anyone about it. It was just my stupid mind playing tricks on me. I did this to myself. I made myself feel like a joke. I'm fucking up my life.