shit

Chapter 18 ah shit, Kenny

It's my first day back to school. People have heard what happened, thanks to Cartman. I feel like a joke. No one will speak of it directly to me, but you can hear the shit coming out their mouths from down the halls. I keep my head down and try to move on throughout the day. I wish I could blame anyone else besides myself. I fucked up my life. I fucked up my reputation. I brought this on to myself and its far too late to go back. I don't bother looking up at the judgmental shit faced stares. I avoid talking to anyone. Kyle's been the supportive one throughout all of this. When I was called on in class, Kyle asked to answer for me. When Cartman made jokes about me, Kyle threatened to beat his fat ass.
I think it's time we finally talk. School has ended. Kyle, Kenny, and I walk out. Cartman has been excluded for being an asshole. I stop Kyle and motion for Kenny to go ahead.

"You go ahead, we will be right there." I say.

Kenny nods and walks forward.

"Kyle, can we talk?" I look down.

Kyle stops and looks at me. It won't be easy to say this. It never will be.

"I've had this idea-" I'm interrupted by screaming. Oh god.
Kenny.

Our heads shot up in the direction of the screaming. Surely enough, he's dead. The bus didn't stop in time. He was just crossing the street and it hit him. Literally.
Kyle and I ran to his side.

"Oh my god!" I whisper. "They- they killed Kenny."

Kyle squeezed his hand, shaking him desperately trying to wake him up. When all his attempts have failed, he looks up with a cold, dead stare. His eyes fill with tears as he turns to face the bus now carelessly driving off.

"You bastard." Kyle grits his teeth and begins to sob into Kenny's fluffy orange coat.

Then I remember.

"Wait, Kyle it's okay, he will be back tomorrow."

Kyle looks at me confused.

"I know it sounds weird, but tomorrow morning he will be just fine."

Now he thinks I'm insane.

"No seriously, wait until tomorrow morning. He will be here again and alive. This happens all the time. He constantly dies and the next morning he wakes up in bed, just fine. It's a weird thing. I can't explain it any better."

"Stan, are you on someth-" I watch him bite his tongue when he realizes what he was about to do. It wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't say it so loud and no one was around.

"I, um. I'll see you later." I started walking away.

"Are you really going to walk away from your dead friend?" I hear someone shout.

I walk faster to avoid the guilt. I know he will wake up tomorrow.

"He's probably going to drink away the problem. Let him go." Another kid says.

What the fuck happened? It's like I have no one now. Did Kyle really mean what he said? I mean he didn't really do anything. Maybe I was too sensitive. Today was just a hard day. I can't go home and drink though. Shit, those kids are right. I was going to drink away the problem. But it's not so easy to just stop an addiction as fast as they're making me.