You Only Live Once

Chapter 13

I hug Mr. Socks Out tight, trying to relax and not think about Peeta.

It's been a week since we arrived from our adventure, and since he kissed me. I blush crimsom always that I think about it, I'm not sure why though. It wasn't to deep, or to agressive. It was rather innocent, actually, but not because of that less passionate. It was sweet and new, like Peeta himself. His lips tasted like the minth gum he was chewing on the car and something else unknown to me. I didn't push him off (even if sometimes I wonder if I should have, I didn't want to make things awkward between us, Peeta had become something really important in my life, I don't want to loose him), and I gladly returned him the kiss. I was so lost in Peeta's taste that lingered on my mouth, that I didn't even notice him pulling away and chuckling awkwardly. Even in the dark I could see how flushed his cheeks were, mine felt hot too. After that Peeta just awkwardly left to his dorm, and I went to mine to, touching my lips with my fingers lightly, where his warmth still lingered.

I'm not sure what I was expecting after that kiss, maybe Peeta coming to me the next day with a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates, or maybe Peeta throwing small rocks at my dorm's window to call my attention, and then sing me a serenade. Although I knew those two were very unlikely (Peeta is not wellknown for his cheesy romantic gestures that you'd see in movies) but what happened I was certainly not what I had in mind. Peeta simply pretended the kiss never happened. The next day, he greeeted me like he always did when we walked to our economics class all the other days. He arrived, greeted me with a 'Hey, Sarcastic Girl!' and started blabbering nonsense like he usually does. At first I thought that he was only embaressed or scared that I hadn't wanted to kiss him, so I spent the next two days sending him small signs, like sitting closer than usual to him during lunch, trying to increase our body contact, and stuff like that, but, if he noticed it, he pretended not to. Although I know Peeta is kind of naive when it comes to noticing this type of stuff, part of me can't stop wondering if he wanted to kiss me in first place. Maybe he just wanted to kiss me cheek or something and had bad aim, or maybe I just had something in my face and he wanted to take it off. I don't know, but the past events with him have left me extremely unsettled.

"Why so bummed, Kit Kat?" Finnick, who is sat on Annie's bed asks me. I jump, forgetting that he was even in the room.

Usually, when we have a free afternoon Peeta and Finnick come to mine and Annie's dorm and we just hang out (when I say we I mean me and Peeta, since Finnick and Annie end up making out and then disappearing to some corner) but today Peeta didn't come. I'm probably being paranoid, but I can't shake the feeling that he is trying to avoid me.

"Why didn't Peeta come with you today?" I blurt out.

"Ah, I see where's the problem." Finnick smirks, and I glare at him. He just laughs it off. I wonder if Peeta told him about the kiss. I mean, Finnick is his best friend, and they're both dudes, but I highly doubt it, because if he had, than Finnick would've already told Annie, and she would've already questioned me about it. "He's feeling a little ill today, so he stayed in the dorm."

Finnick's statement leaves me immediatly nervous. Peeta's sick? The simple thought makes me shudder, knowing his past medical history. I remember the words he said when he told me about it 'There's always the chance of it coming back worst.'What if it came back? What if Peeta's days are counted again? Surely he couldn't survive it twice.

Finnick must have noticed my alarmed expression, as he immediatly tries to ressurge me "Oh, don't worry. He's just a little under the weather, nothing else. Seriously, he's fine." he states. I decide to believe him, in the end, if Peeta was really all that bad, Finnick would most likely be with him, and he sure wouldn't look so relaxed.

Then my suspicions are confirmed, Peeta is trying to avoid me, that's why he didn't come with Finnick today. He didn't want ot be alone with me, in my dorm, sat in my bed. I feel my cheeks hottening, with the idea of Peeta laying in my bed.