Hetalia: Spamano in love

Chapter 7

After that first day out with Toni and the others, I distanced myself from him yet again. I'd built up so many walls, so many barriers, what was the point in taking them down? However, needless to say I became closer and closer to that damn Spaniard, whether I wanted it or not. There was some sort of magnetism about him that pulled me closer, that smashed my walls completely.

It had been months since that first day out, and almost a year since he had first become my roommate. No matter how much I wanted to stay away from him, we couldn't be apart. We had become best friends. We had become such good friends, in fact, that apparently he could wake me up by jumping on my bed.

"Hey! Lovi! Lovino! Lovino Romano Vargas!" the excitable brunette cheered as he rocked my bed.

"What?" I spat the word like poison.

"Don't kill the messenger!" Toni whined.

"Okay." I began. "Firstly, it's Don't SHOOT the messenger. Secondly, what freaking message do you have for me? Oh, and lastly, if I don't get my morning coffee right now your head will be on a spike."

"Whatever makes you happy!" The Spaniard laughed, dragging me out of bed and taking off my shirt.

Wait...

"Woah, woah! The fuck do you think you're doing?!" I shouted, pulling my shirt down again.

"Trust me!" the older male laughed. "And also, no homo."

"Fuck you." I said, getting ready as quick as I could. "Don't tell me no homo when you're undressing me."

"I'm straight, Lovi." the Spanish man said, dragging me out of the dorm.

"Yeah, well who the fuck is Tim then?" I questioned irritability.

"I already told you, one of Gil's boyfriends."

"Really? Because to be honest, I respect you and I say you won't lie to me, but if I called Gil up I'm sure it'd be a different story."

Toni stopped, just as we got out of the building. The sunlight hit his brown, messy, locks, making him look like an angel. His green eyes sparkled, but I could tell he was angry at me. "Why the fuck are you so adamant about bringing this up?" Toni shouted.

I folded my arms, inhaled heavily, then breathed out again. I had to stay calm, there was no point in taking this in a darker direction.

"Please don't swear, Toni." I said softly.

"You didn't answer my fucking question." I winced at the harsh language.

"I bring it up because I think you're lying to me and yourself about something quite serious."

Toni balled his fists up and clenched his sides. "Why can't you just accept that I'm straight, Lovi? I know you're fucking gay, Lovino. Why can't you chase someone like you, you fag!"

I gasped, horrified at Toni's language. Had he really just called me that? He had used that word, the one I knew too well, that one word which I thought he would never utter.

I felt tears prick my eyes, and my throat started to hurt. Swallowing a lump, I wiped away my tears angrily and looked up at Toni. He looked just as horrified as me, hand clamped over his mouth. I know he didn't mean it, he didn't mean it, he didn't mean it...

"You know what? Let me tell you something." I choked. "Maybe I am gay, maybe I am a fag, but at least I haven't stooped as low as you. Antonio Fernandez Carreido..."

Suddenly, a hand grasped around my wrist, and began pulling me back into the building. Toni stared straight ahead, until we reached the roof access door. He pulled a hair pin out of his locks, and picked the lock proffesionally. I stared at him, confused, but decided to let him lead this one.

When we reached the roof, Toni ran to the edge of the building and beckoned me to follow. I hope this wasn't going where I thought it was...

Howver, when I got to the edge, I saw there was a plank inbetween the dormitory roof and one of the school buildings. Were we really climbing on the roof of our university? I followed Toni over the plank, then we reached a ladder. I looked up at the ladder, and saw it lead higher and higher until there was a platform at the top.

"It's my thinking area." Toni laughed weakly.

We climbed up and up until eventually we reached the top. Toni grabbed my hand and pulled me up the last couple of steps, but when we were sitting together on the edge of the platform, he still didn't let go. From up here you could see so far, all across the city, the cinema, the shopping center, even the far reaches and suburbs.

Finally, Toni spoke up.

"I know you won't accept my apology...". He sighed.

Sighing softly, I nudged closer to the Spanish brunette so we were side by side.

"Shhhh..." I whispered into his ear. "I know you didn't mean it, Toni. I know. And I know that you're only saying that because you're confused, or scared, or angry. I know." I started to make patterns on his hand like he had done for me in the movie.

I had to be the oldest now. I had to calm him down.

"Lovino..." he choked, the tears beginning to fall. I wiped them away gently.

"I'm here for you." I reassured. "What's on your mind?"

"You already know..." the Spaniard shook.

"It helps if you say it outloud."

"I'm gay."

I smiled, still tracing circles on his palm. "Anything else?"

"I'm gay, but I'm not scared of being judged. All of my best friends are gay, after all. I'm just confused as to why I'm not sure about it. Anytime I think about it, I get sick. And yes, I dated Tim, yes, he was my boyfriend. When he broke up with me it was hard, but I don't still love him."

"And?" I prompted.

"And I love someone else. Someone who I know is gay, and someone who just stopped tracing patterns on my palm because he knows it's him."

I froze up. My whole body denied movement. This is what I wanted, all this time. To be able to call him mine, to be his. To run my hand through his messy hair, to stroke dimpled cheeks, to kiss, such wonderful, amazing, kissable lips...

Without even realizing what I was doing, I pulled the Spaniard close and crashed our lips together. Yeah, that's right, I punched the bastard with my mouth. Gently. And slowly. And eventually we broke apart, a string of saliva connecting our lips. The Spaniard smirked and immediately pulled me back in for more.

I can't say how much time we spent on that rooftop platform, but when we began to climb back down the sky had burned out the pale blue and replaced it with a mixture of oranges, pinks, reds and yellows.

By the time we had made it back to the dorm, it was going on nine. I held Toni's hand the whole time, our fingers interlocking. I looked up at Toni, staring at his handsome features, and my heart soared when I saw him smile.

"Toni?"

"Yes, Lovi?"

"Uhh... Thank you?"

"I'm not even going to ask why that sounded like a question."

We laughed, recalling old memories, and yet again warranted some 'shut ups' from people in the corridor. I stopped as we walked past Arthur's room, shushing and beckoning Toni to listen. I wish I hadn't, for both me and Toni had to stifle our laughter when we heard a certain British punk moan out his boyfriend's name. Stumbling through our door, we both collapsed on the bed laughing.

"Lovi, I hate you. Why must I have known that." Toni said jokingly.

"Welp, guess who I'm not looking in the eye for the next couple of days!" I replied, still dizzy from laughter.

"Lovi, please say something to Al in philosophy tommorow. Please say it so I can hear too."

"I gotcha. What shall I say?"

"Oh god, ummm... Just be like, 'are punks good in bed?' really casually."

I laughed uncontrollably, until my sides hurt. "Omg, you little devil." I remarked.