Maybe it isn't that people leave me,
But I leave them.
Maybe it isn't that they don't like me,
But I don't like them.
I am not strong,
not a lone wolf.
I am still that little girl
who was sweet and likable.
I run the moments I got hurt
in my head on repeat.
I sealed my mind,
my body,
my heart—
So nothing else could get in,
because I am so scared.
The hurt keeps replaying
until it spreads like blood
through my body.
i don't know how to live without it.
I wish I could rewind time
and tell my truth,
but something in me stayed
tongue-tied.
People walked away,
misunderstanding me.
And maybe i let them,
because it was easier.
I tell myself
if I stay inside,
the world can't reach me.
but it still finds me—
It sleeps beside me.
I could connect,
I could reach out,
but will anyone ever really hear me?
Maybe the space has been there for so long
that it wouldn't even matter anymore.
Or has the silence grown so large
Has it become who i am?
What about all the nuanced pieces
attached to it,
Creating this massive web?
maybe it's easier—
easier being the one that everyone hates,
being the one that everyone dislikes,
being the unlovable one,
because at least
You don't expect anything anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Chapters of Irrationality
ŞiirI write emotional poetry and try to create beautiful imagery as I describe all the situations that people deal with in their lives. This is a collection of my true inner thoughts and feelings. Yet, I like to keep little mystery so I am curious to k...
