Exchanging Feelings (Phan)

9. Leaving the world far behind us

Warning!

it has a bit of smut in the end nothing serious tho

Can we just take a moment to cry because my smut is SO FUCKING BAD??? I love reading it (ngl) but writing it for me is really difficult and weird so yeah, just wrote it because you guys wanted it

_

Dan froze. There was no excuse. How could we explain blood on the freaking floor?

Mrs. Howell wasn’t /mad/, she was scared and in panic. Dan and I exchanged a look. We both stared at my host mum, not knowing what to say.

“DAN?? WILL YOU PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED??”she screamed.

“Mum it’s not what you’re thinking, nothing happened, calm dow-” Dan tried speaking but stopped when Mrs. Howell went pale and  supported her body on the wall, like her blood pressure was low and she was about to faint. Dan hurried to hold her.

“My bathroom is covered in blood” she mewled when Dan held her. She hadn’t slept that night, and was really weak.

“No mum it’s not, calm down” Dan said as he helped her get to the bed. I wanted to help but I had no idea how.

Dan forced her to the bed so she could lie down, but she got rid of him and stood up again, looking stronger. She left the bedroom and Dan followed her running.

“LOOK AT THIS, DANIEL, THIS IS BLOOD, REAL BLOOD” she cried, pointing at the ground. I watched everything in silence, with my hand on my mouth, in shock. Mrs. Howell /never/ went there, why the hell was she going just when she /couldn’t/?

Dan didn’t respond, he just looked down like he knew there was nothing he could say.

“WHAT HAPPENED HERE???? WHAT HAPPENED HERE????” she screamed crying. “PHIL?? WHAT HAPPENED??” she looked at me.

“Calm down Mrs. Howell, I tripped and hurt myself and didn’t clean the bathroom, sorry” I wasn’t very convincing though, of course. I just said the first thing that came to my mind.

“You tripped phil??? Really??? LOOK AT THIS TOWEL! THIS IS COVERED IN BLOOD!” she grabbed the towel I had used to stanch Dan’s cuts and lift it up in the air. “SOMETHING HAPPENED HERE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT. DAN?? ARE YOU CUTTING YOUR WRISTS AGAIN???” she screamed. At this point she had lost control.

Mr. Howell went upstairs as he heard the screams.

“WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?” he screamed, and gasped in shock when he entered the bathroom.

“THIS IS WHAT I’M TRYING AND FINDING OUT. SO, YOU TWO CAN START SPEAKING. WHY THE HELL IS THERE BLOOD IN MY BATHROOM?” she screamed. “ANSWER ME DANIEL, ARE YOU CUTTING YOUR WRISTS AGAIN?” she repeated. I didn’t know that Mrs. Howell knew about this, so I was kind of surprised.

“NO MUM I’M NOT… THIS IS JUST… THIS IS JUST…” Dan tried speaking.

“it was me, Mrs. Howell” I interrupted him, speaking seriously. I showed her my arm, thankfully I had cut 2 days earlier, and my cuts were still new. I didn’t actually have a /reason/ to cut that day, I was happy - but I /liked/ cutting. It helped me and I hadn’t stopped doing it even though everything was better.

“I self harm. I was doing it yesterday and this one cut wouldn’t stop bleeding” I said calmly, and pointed at one particular bigger cut. “So I had to use the towel to stanch it. But Dan kept calling me and knocking at the door to go play video games so I had to leave the bathroom like this. I was going to wake up earlier and clean it all, I didn’t know you’d come here.” I said, trying and sounding confident enough so she could believe it. Mrs. Howell covered her mouth in shock when she saw my cuts and scars. “I was just telling Dan about this terrible habit of mine… I asked him to keep the secret because you wouldn’t want me living here if you knew I self harm” I vomited the words, not letting anyone say anything. I pulled my other sleeve so she could see my other arm.