Exchanging Feelings (Phan)

10. Joy inside my tears

A/N: i had to do some research to write this and by research i mean ask on twitter for help *coughs* sorry if something is wrong.

Dan watched me as I prepared our breakfast. He looked better, but I knew he wasn’t good yet.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, giving him a plate with eggs and a toast.

“Good” he said quietly. “You?”

“I’m fine… But you still look sad”

“I just… have a lot in my mind, don’t worry… I’ll get better” he forced a smile.

“Okay then… Are we doing something today?”

“I was thinking we could watch some films…”

“That sounds good”

He started texting someone and we ate in silence. I wondered who he was talking to, but didn’t ask. When we finished we went back to his bedroom and chose a film.

We watched the film cuddling in bed for a long time, but then my phone rang.

“It’s my mum” I said. “Why the hell is she calling? Do you think your dad called her?”

“He said he wouldn’t… answer it” he said.

I answered the phone, scared – but it wasn’t my mother. It was her secretary. She said that my mom had asked her to call me and say that she was missing me. I sighed as she spoke.

I thanked the girl for calling me, and told her that she shouldn’t bother my mom if my host dad eventually called, because it would probably be just something silly.

“You know that my mother has a million things in her mind, you don’t want her stressed, do you?” I said, in Portuguese of course.  I knew that my mom treated her employees like shit, so the girl would get the message.

The girl agreed to not tell my mum anything.

“So what did she say?” Dan asked.

“It wasn’t my mom… just her secretary, saying that my mom misses me. She really does, right? She calls me every day and stuff, she’s probably crying in a corner because I’m not there” I said ironically.

Dan pecked my lips, pulled me closer, and entwined our fingers.

“But I don’t give a fuck” I added.

“I’ll give you all the love she doesn’t” he said.

I kissed his cheek and we returned to the movie.

We spent the day like that, just cuddling, talking, watching films, playing video games.

My host parents arrived but we didn’t dare to go downstairs. We also decided it would be better if we slept separated, in our own bedrooms.

~~

On the next morning, Dan woke me up with a kiss. He was already wearing his uniform. It was 8:20a,, I was late.

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I asked.

“Because you deserved to sleep… But now go take a shower” he said.

I took a quick shower and we both went downstairs together. My host parents had a mad face, and didn’t say ‘good morning’ when we entered the kitchen.

Dan and I started eating cereal in silence as my host dad was reading a newspaper.

“You two can show me your arms and chests now. And you’ll do it at night as well.” Mr. Howell said.