Yellow Flowers

Part Three-

It had to have been several hours at the most when Gerard finally stopped telling his story. He had started at the beginning of his memory, and recollected the many tragedies of his life. He told Frank of his parents and their constant hate of each other. He told of his deceased grandmother, one of the only friends he had ever known. He told of the pain of stressing poverty. He told of the feeling of knowing that someday, he could go to turn on the the light, or the shower, and nothing would happen.

But mostly, Gerard told of Mikey.

He told Frank every detail of Mikey to the point, it was like Frank knew him himself. He told Frank of the stress of watching a mentally disabled teenager everyday. Of the frustration he felt when prying Mikey from the closet or cabinets. Of the humiliation when Mikey cries in public for no reason. Of the way he stops to pet every puppy he sees even though Gerard hates that. Of the way he jumps from bed to bed at night, and Gerard can't calm him down enough for sleep. Of the songs he hums to himself way too loudly during church, and the old ladies a few pews over keep glancing back and whispering.

Of everything.

As Gerard continued on this tirade, he found himself speaking more and more coarsely of his brother, up until the climax of his tangent at the very, very end.

"I swear, he's the most annoying human in the world. He drives me nuts," Gerard paused, shaking his head, "But I guess he can't help that he's a retard."

Retard.

And there, he said it.

Gerard's face bloomed with a massive blush, but this was because he was shocked. Retard was the worst word in the English language to him. He could remember a time not long ago when he was taking Mikey for a walk in the park. He remembered seeing kids from school, and how they had seen Gerard too. They had approached, grinning maliciously. Gerard remembered them speaking sharply, poking Mikey's ribs causing him to squeal and cry, but... As the brothers walked away, they both could hear the kids muttering insults about Mikey. Gerard was instantly reminded of the anger he felt as he explained to a crying Mikey on the walk home that retard was a bad word, and that he should never, ever say it.

But, here Gerard was, in his best friend's room, eating his words.

He'd just called his brother, his one brother, a retard.

Frank stared for a second, as if sensing his regret, and smiled again very sympathetically. Not because he was endorsing Gerard's name calling, but because he understood Gerard didn't really mean it.

"Your brother seems like a cool kid, Gerard," He said, shrugging his shoulders as he stood up. Gerard knew it was late. His heart ached as he stood beside his friend. "I'd like to meet him sometime."

"No," Gerard said, walking towards the door as Frank opened it. He thought he was going to cry. He had to leave this wonderful home. This wonderful life. He would have done anything to be able to stay here the whole night...or... Forever. "No," He said again, following Frank down the massive stairs, "He wouldn't like you. He doesn't like anybody."

Gerard remembered Mikey's hand in the window signing 'I love you'. The memory made his heart ache, but not as much as his heart was aching from having to leave. He wondered what Mikey was doing for only an instant.

"Oh," Frank said quietly. They were now in front of the door, Frank's hand resting on the beautiful bronze doorknob. Finally, Frank bit his lip and opened the door. "You should give Mikey more credit Gerard," He said, holding the door open, "It's not like he tries to make you miserable."

Gerard felt a sense of intense dread as he stepped outside into the cold air. It was late, the sun was long set, and the moon blared down on the two. It would be thanksgiving soon. Maybe Frank would let him come over then, so Gerard could know what there was to be thankful for. Even if it wasn't his life. Gerard bit his lip and turned suddenly, facing Frank.