Unexpected

Chapter 27

So many thoughts were running through my mind and I felt as if my head was about to burst. I had done something I never thought I'd do at this age. For me, it had always been a thing about waiting for marriage, but then it happened and I can't take it back. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to take it back in all honesty. The two thoughts that were a constant in my head were that: one, I loved Hunter and I had just given myself completely to him; and two, the feelings I thought I had for Marco were beginning to seem like a huge lie that had I told myself. However, the guilt of what I had done was a noose wrapped tightly around my neck as I stood on top of a chair, waiting for it to tip over and leave me to hang.

I lay beside Hunter in the bed, the sheet pulled up to cover our bodies in shame. We had both been staring at the ceiling, neither one of us making a sound other than the heavy breathing that pushed our chests in an up and down movement. I knew that I had tears in my eyes and I really wish I didn't because Hunter was going to get the wrong idea. His breath hitched and I felt him look over at me. The worry in his voice when he spoke was enough to make me sob. I wasn't unhappy. I didn't know why I was crying.
"No, no, KitKat, please don't cry." He was propped on his elbow and leaning over me. He wiped the tears away with his thumb lightly, kissing both my cheeks and wiping the tear stains away with his lips. The smile that tugged at my lips was involuntary as I put my hand over his, after he cupped my face and turned it to look at him, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let that happen..." he said softly, but his eyes never left mine and the guilt and regret was so clear in those beautiful blue orbs that I started crying again and shook my head.
"No. Please don't say that, Hunter." I sobbed slightly, "I don't want you to regret what happened!" I pleaded with him - if he didn't really want this it would break my heart. He knew how important my virginity was to me though, so he obviously thought I was upset about that, but I wasn't. He was the one that was supposed to have it and I was upset that it took me so long to figure it out, I had fooled myself into thinking that I had something with Marco. Marco, who so clearly did not love me and was just using me.
"I could never regret being that close to you, I love you and I want you to know that... but that - that was something so important to you and I just took it away. I understand if you hate me..." The sadness that laced his voice was enough to shatter my already wounded heart.
"I could never hate you, I did that with you because I love you and I don't regret it." I looked at him seriously, trying to show him just how serious I was about this. He didn't respond to me with words, he bent down and kissed me lightly. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as I kissed him back.
"God, you're so beautiful." he whispered against my lips, making me shiver - his words had such an effect on me now. However, in this world when things go really great, reality will always come crashing down around you and ruin everything. Like ice water was thrown onto my face he spoke the words that made everything so much more real and I remembered the world around us.
"When you came into the room earlier, you were crying. Why?" He sat up, I looked away and reached for his shirt that was lying on the floor. I was feeling insecure and vulnerable, I would feel a lot more comfortable if I had clothes on.
"Can I have a minute to get dressed before we talk?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely exposed and shy about everything.
"Of course! When you're ready." He turned away, making me smile at how he knew me. I slipped his shirt on before picking up my clothes and heading for the bathroom.

After I got dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror. I don't know if I was expecting to look different or something, but there I was, still me. But my body felt different, I felt different. But in a good way. I glanced down at the tattoo on my hip, running my fingers over it lightly. This is how it was supposed to be. From the beginning we were supposed to end up together. I just hope that things work out that way.
"Kate?" My thoughts were interrupted by Hunters concerned voice, "Are you okay? You've been in there for a while now."
"Oh, sorry. I'm almost done." I called back. I hadn't even realized I was in here for that long. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

Hunter was standing there in grey sweatpants and a black shirt that clung to his body. I subconsciously bit my lip and walked over to him. He smiled warmly at me, his eyes betraying him and showing me the worry that was there. He was still scared that I would regret this and push him away.
"We should probably talk about what happened." He said nervously and scratched the back of his neck.
"Yeah, probably." I said in a small voice. Hunter gave me a sad smile and took my hand.
"Why were you so upset?" He asked cautiously and lead me over to the bed so we could sit down. I turned to face him as I gathered my thoughts. I wasn't sure how to tell him why I was sad.
"I went to go talk to Marco," I started and I saw Hunter visibly tense at the mention of his brother, I ignored it though and continued talking, "But he uh, he was busy talking to Jonathan." I stopped and bit my lip, Hunter frowned in confusion as to why that would upset me, but he also looked as he though he knew what was going on.
"What happened?" He asked when I didn't continue.
"Marco was just using me this whole time." My voice cracked at the end and a few tears slipped out my eyes. Hunter looked surprised at first, then sympathy filled his eyes.
"I'm sorry, I should've told you that he-" Hunter began and anger boiled inside me at his words, the change in my mood so quickly kind of scared me, so I interrupted whatever he was going to say.
"What do you mean you should've told me? You knew?" I stood up, feeling betrayed.
"I'm sorry." He said softly and looked down. I couldn't describe what I was feeling; it was a strong mix of hurt, sadness, anger and confusion.
"What is he using me for anyway?" I asked aggressively.
"So you don't know..." He looked up at my confused expression, then stood up and walked over to me.
"Know what?" I took a step away from him, a look of hurt crossed his face and he sighed in defeat.
"I... I can't tell you that, it's not my place." He said sadly, his eyes begging for me to understand. But I didn't.
"Like hell you can't tell me!" I yelled.
"Kate please..." He reached out for me but I stepped away again. I could see the internal battle Hunter was going through by the way he looked at me.
"Don't touch me right now." I snarled at him, I can't believe they had all lied to me. I was so heartbroken. I thought that they were my friends. I couldn't look at him anymore so I focused on the pillows on the bed.
"I need a few minutes to calm down..." I told him as tears started to form in my eyes and my vision went blurry.
"How about I give you a little bit? I'm going to go talk to Marco while you calm down...We still need to talk." He said as if he were talking to a little kid. I glared at him as he walked around me but I nodded as he slipped out the door. Of course he would go and talk to Marco, but how much would he say? I started crying and dropped to my knees, letting all my confused emotions out in sobs.