A Teenage Love: A Coming of Age Story

Chapter 8 - Strike

8Strike

Ryan. The more I tried to limit thoughts, my feelings, and my time with her, the more I gave. The more I tried to ration and plan out our moments, the more I stumbled over them. When I thought about her my mind always seemed to shift to that man I knew from my conscience. I went to the Media Center at the local community college and sat at a computer that was filled specifically with Springs news and history. I stared at the screen for a moment before opening the browser. Dennis Calvin.

It's like my hands were new to typing as I tapped that name into the search bar. Two articles from local papers and an obituary popped up.

Highway Pile up Leads to Tragic Death of Springs Man.

I lived the story so I didn't need to read any further. The picture on the obituary showed a man who was friendly but serious about his family and his business. The article reflected the same thing. A good man gone too soon, somebody who would be terribly missed, someone who had a lot to live for.

...He is survived by wife and daughter, Marcia and Michelle Calvin.

I scrolled back up to the picture. I stared so long the screen between us seemed to thin out. The pixels rattled, shaking him out of position. He titled his head from shoulder to shoulder and rubbed out the kinks in his neck. His friendly eyes looked exasperated now. "Don't you have anything better to do on a day like this?"

I folded my arms over the keyboard and took a quick look around.

He said, "Does reading about me make you feel better about any of this? Does it make you like her any less? Cause that's what you're looking for right? A way out? I hate to break it to you, but there is no pretty way out once you're in. It's like a web."

"So what now? I let her eat me alive?"

"Does love really sound that bad to you?"

I flinched at the word. Love. Is that what was wrong with me? Get it off me. Burn it with fire.

"Will she be okay with me when she finds out?"

"Unfortunately, I can't disclose her feelings or control her reactions."

I threw up my hands. I wanted to close out the page, but couldn't stop listening.

"Look...I'm not coming back. No amount of guilt or anger or prayer is going to change that. All you can do is live for today. Key word: Today. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Is that what you needed to hear?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I muttered.

"Alright, heads up."

"Hey." Meagan plopped down in the seat next to mine, knees facing me.

"Whoa, hey." When I went to close the page it was already gone.

"You taking summer classes?"

"Nah, I was just looking something up." I fixed her necklace. She usually liked when I touched her but this time, she smacked my hand away. I took that as my cue to fall back. Less flirty, more friendly. "What's up?"

"Are you still going bowling with us tomorrow night?"

"For sure. Why?"

"Are you bringing your girlfriend?"

I breathed deep because now I had to explain something I didn't even know the meaning of.

"Tarrah told me she saw y'all out the other night."