A Teenage Love: A Coming of Age Story

Chapter 10 - Dennis

Ryan. I spent the Fourth of July at Juan's house. Maybe I was expecting her to be there, I don't know. Not that I had the right words or anything that she wanted. I just wanted her near me. I needed to see her smiling. I had taken that for granted.

Word got around that I was the driver in the accident that killed her father. I didn't know how to talk about it. I didn't know how to explain myself. I knew I should have knocked on her door and said something, but I just didn't have the words.

We sat in the grass passing around a blunt. My imagination took me to hellish places watching that white truck in her driveway. I stared at it so long it started to resemble a blinding white light. Suddenly, Dennis climbed out of the light and slammed the door. "Ouch," he said crossing the street.

He sat in the grass across from me, arms around his knees. Just me and him. The air was still and the street was silent.

"Some serious accusations you're making there."

"She's a fraud. I knew she liked him. I knew she thought he was better than me."

"Is that easier than thinking about the real issue?"

I paused to think about it. "Fuck." I held my head.

"You have the right to your feelings, Ryan. It doesn't change the impression she's made on you. Don't throw it away because of foolish pride."

I tuned in to the world around me. A pop of fireworks shot off in the distance.

Shay said, "Yo, Ryan high as shit. Relax nigga, they probably ain't finished fucking yet."

Everybody thought that was so hilarious. I diverted my eyes, trying not to be so transparent.

"Thought you stopped smoking," Meagan said taking the blunt I was passing.

Eyes low and senses wide open, I said, "It's a celebration."

"A celebration of what?"

"Independence."

Nadia drove me home since we lived on the same block. I found my way inside where Rich was waiting on the couch. He got on his feet upon my entrance. "I called you six times."

"Oh." I glanced at the blank screen. "Phone's dead."

Mom came out of her room and stood toe to toe with me. "That's not an excuse."

"I don't know what else to say." The words came out slow like I was under water.

"And I know you didn't just walk your ass in here high."

"I wasn't driving," I said slipping past her the comfort of my own room.

"And you think that makes it okay, huh? I'll talk to your ass in the morning."

I just wanted to sleep in peace, but nobody would let me. The older me, the younger me, Dennis Calvin, and that guilt inside me invaded my dreams like boogeymen. I snapped awake and groaned the grog away. I got up quietly, hoping to sneak out before mom could lecture me about responsibility and whatnot. The photo on my nightstand made me pause. It was a picture of my mother standing in front of her nurse's station of ten years and smiling brightly into the camera with one hand on each son's shoulder. It was a real smile, an oblivious smile. She had no clue there was another woman, another child, another home on the other side of town. What really got to me was the fact that Dennis Calvin was behind me even then, literally, in the flesh, glowing, as he smiled down at his beautiful eight year old daughter and she smiled back. I dropped it on my dresser and took a step back.

"I wanted you to see that," Mom said creeping up behind me. I turned to her.

"You and Rich would come sit in the waiting room on Tuesdays because your Daddy had to work late. Remember that?"

"Yeah, except he wasn't working late."

"That doesn't matter now." She took the picture into her hands and smiled down on it like it was a newborn baby. "You used to impress the hell out of those ladies with how bright you were, and how handsome you were." She held my shoulders and shook a little sense into me. "Then you started slipping away from me..."

I winced. Didn't we rehash that enough?

"Are we going down that road again?"

"It was one night."

"I don't give a damn if it was one hour. What the hell made you think you could walk in this house high?"

"Mom. I'm not fourteen. I know what's good for me, alright? I don't need you monitoring every decision I make."

"So you can deal with your own problems right?"

"Right."

"Then deal with them! Like a man! You know what to do! Do it!" She said clapping her hands with frustration.

Michelle. I was at the library printing off some forms for my mom. I read over a couple pages of what sounded like a sales agreement for the restaurant. She was being bought out. It didn't piss me off that she was selling the restaurant. I'd watched the restaurant go from five-start gourmet to cheap packaged food over the years. I was offended because she thought I was too immature to discuss it with. In my peripheral, I saw Meagan and her friend fussing in the corner. I kept my eye on the computer screen even after she casually walked over to use the one next to me--with her sexy bikini body and perfectly lined teeth. Fuck her.

"You're Michelle right?"

I looked at her and waited.

"Ryan told me what happened to your dad."

I leaned in to make sure I was hearing clearly. "I'm sorry, what?"

"He told me about your dad."

"What did he tell you about my dad exactly?"

"Just that—you know—it was hard for you to get past the fact that he caused that accident."

It took me a moment to process what she was actually saying but when I did, my heart took a nose dive.

She looked uncomfortable. "Like I said, it's none of my business. I just need to know if you're over it. Like for real or if there's a chance...?"

"No, go ahead. There's no chance."

I stared at the contract on thecomputer screen until the words became a blur. I decided to print a copy formyself to read over later since nobody trusted me with the truth.