Everything Has Changed

Chapter 13- Back to the Beginning

Eva's POV- Time Unknown:

I open my eyes to see an empty hospital room and an IV hooked to my arm. A loud beeping sound echoes in my ears, and a pounding in my head drowns out the noise of some infomercial.

"And if you call now we will send you the second kit free!" A woman basically screams from within the television. I look around for a remote control and find one on the table beside my bed. I grab it and press on the off button hard, but nothing happens.

"This kit could change your life!" The same woman yells and my head feels like it is going to explode.

"Oh come on!" I place the remote control on the table and put my hands over my ears.

“Eva? You awake hun?” I see my mom peak her head through the doorway and sigh with relief, “how you doing honey? Feeling better?”

I have no idea what my mother is talking about. What happened? Am I dreaming? Everything around me, the medical posters on the wall, the various tools on the countertop, my mother’s heartwarming smile, it all seems fake. Like I’m on some Hollywood set or something. I am by no means a crier, but for some reason I burst into tears and my mom wraps her arms around me in a comforting way.

“What’s going on?” Between soft sobs, I manage to squeak out the question that has been lingering in my confused mind ever since I woke up in this hospital room.

“Eva? How are you feeling?” I hear a man’s voice coming from the doorway and I quickly brush away my tears and look up. It must be my doctor because he is wearing a long white lab coat looking thing and blue scrubs.

“I feel fine. I don’t know, my head hurts I guess. Will someone answer my question please?” I am starting to get kind of annoyed as my mother and the man just stare at me looking concerned.

“Maybe you should just get some rest sweetheart.” My mom rubs my back in a circular motion.

“I won’t sleep until someone tells me why I’m here. Let me rephrase that, until someone tells me what the hell is wrong with me? Did I hit my head or something?” I cross my arms and look at the doctor, waiting for an answer.

“Liz, would you mind leaving Eva and I alone for a moment? I just think it would be best for her to hear it from me, alone.” The doctor refers to my mom by her first name, only leading me to believe that I have been here long enough for them to get to know each other.

My mom lifts her weight off the hospital bed, “sure.”

I start to get nervous as she shuts the door and the doctor moves towards me with a serious expression on his face. He is actually quite handsome. He seems to be close to six feet and has short black hair. I’d guess he is around 30 years old.

The doctor’s deep voice breaks my thoughts, “Hi Eva. My name is Dr. Lennox.” He reaches his hand out to shake mine and I politely do the same. He continues to look me straight in the eye and seems to be searching for the right words to say, “Eva, you are in a very peculiar situation. You see, you have experienced something that we call a fugue state.”

Dr. Lennox looks at me as though I’d like to chime in to ask a question so I do, “What does that mean?”

“Well a fugue state is a certain condition that some people take on after experiencing something such as in your case, a severe concussion.” He goes to continue but I interrupt him.

“When did I get a concussion?” I try to remember the last thing that happened to me but it just makes my brain hurt.

“You were at a concert. You were stampeded by some girls and you fell and hit your head hard—“

“Wait I can remember that. I was with Amanda and Cameron and we had been planning to see One Direction for months. What happened after that?” I curiously look for any trace of a memory but have no luck.

“Well, you were unconscious for a few hours and after you awoke, your fugue state began. Eva, you will not be able to recall anything that happened after the hit up until now, no matter how hard you try—“

I cut him off once again, “Why not?”

“When a person is in a fugue state, they are not in control of their actions. You can think of it as you going to sleep and somebody else walking around in your skin for a few days. Your case is a rarity though, because most individuals in a fugue state will pursue acts of violence, break the law, and in some really serious cases, end up killing people. However, you happened to be capable of acting just as yourself, you just weren’t actually in control of your body.” Dr. Lennox is honestly scaring me a little bit.

“How can I be living and talking and walking, and not be in control of myself. Who’s in control then?” I feel like I am in a horror movie being told that sometimes the devil causally takes control over my body and goes around killing people.

“It is a psychiatric mishap that we haven’t quite figured out completely yet. It has to do with a certain part of the brain being damaged, and it also ties in with serious trauma. Some people will begin a fugue state when they have experienced something horrific such as being abused or raped. It is a way that some people cope with things, but in this case, it was completely out of your control. It was all caused by the hit.” Dr. Lennox tries to make it sound like he knows exactly what he is talking about, but I have a feeling that he really doesn’t know how this “fugue state” thing works.

“So if I didn’t commit horrendous acts of violence during this so-called ‘fugue state’, then what did I do?” I am genuinely curious as to what my body did while I wasn’t in control of it.

“I will assure you that you did not harm anyone or anything. You’re lucky, because a lot of the time judges don’t buy the whole ‘fugue state’ theory and will send people straight to jail if they did anything wrong while in their state. The law just doesn’t seem to recognize psychiatric disorders or mishaps.” Dr. Lennox clicks his pen open and starts to scribble on a clipboard, probably writing down silly observations, like what my present facial expression is, "As far as what you did and what activities you participated in, you will have to ask the people you were with. Unfortunatly I can't tell you that because I don't know."

“So what happens now? Am I supposed to just go on with my life like nothing even happened?” I am still having trouble understanding the insanity of it all. 

“Well that is probably the best thing for you to do at this point. We will have to prescribe you some medication because your head may experience some sudden moments of severe pain.” Dr. Lennox pauses for a minute, “I know that this is all hard for you to take in, but it would be best for you to take a few days off, then go back to school and go on with your life exactly how it was before the accident. That will be the best way for you to heal.”

“Alright. Then that’s what I’ll do I guess.” I decide to cooperate and accept his recommendations.

“Great. Would you like to see your friends? They have been waiting to talk to you and I told them that I’d let them know as soon as you were ready to see them.” Dr. Lennox starts to move towards the door.

“Yes, that would be fantastic!” That is exactly what I need right now, to see my two best friends. They have a way of making everything better.