Everything Has Changed

Chapter 20- Regrets

Amanda's POV- 3:15 pm:

"I just don't understand why we can't tell her." I stare at the dashboard of Cam's old volkswagon as she drives through town. 

"Manda I don't think you understand how hard it will be for her if we tell her." Cam looks at me and back to the road with tired eyes, "Imagine being told that you were with Niall Horan for a few days and that he fell in love with you basically, and now you can never see him again. It would be devestating. Don't you get that?"

"I guess so." I grab my phone from my beaten-up backpack that has lasted me four school years and read a message Cody sent me one minute ago.

From: Cody;)

Hey I'm home tonight wanna hang out after I have hockey practice?

I type a quick response and throw my phone back in my bag before Cam notices I even had it out. 

To: Cody;)

Yeah sure I'll come over at 7:30 and you can help me study for my geometry unit test tomorrow. 

"Who is this Johnathan guy anyway?" Cam takes a sharp left and my body jerks to the right. 

"What Johnathan guy?" I glance over at Cam with a confused look on my face. 

"The guy that just moved here that she went to town with instead of hitching a ride with us after school." Cam's voice sounds almost pissed off. She probably had a long day, I think we all did. 

"No but she loves Niall! This can't be happening Cam!" It is honestly killing me not to tell Eva.

"She doesn't love Niall Manda! She doesn't even remember Niall! And this isn't a fairytale like we can't just interfere with her friendship with Johnathan just to let her know that she has another guy waiting to be her prince. Niall is in Texas and he won't be anywhere near Hartford any time soon so we can't let our excitment for her and Niall ruin what is going on in her life now. She just recovered. We can't break her heart again." Cam lashes out at me and I can feel a tear drip down my cheek.

"I'm sorry." I stumble on my words as more tears form in my bright blue eyes. I don't even really know why I'm crying, I guess I'm just a little overwhelmed with all that has happened in the past week or so. 

"Awh Manda I didn't mean to make you cry I just don't think you understand how much telling her about Niall could hurt her." Cam puts a hand on my shoulder. 

"No it isn't that. I... I just feel so terrible. Why did it have to happen to Eva?" I wipe a tear off of my nose. "She's such a good person and I just wish that I could have taken her place. I would have deserved taking that hit to the head more than she did." 

"Manda it isn't your fault that Eva fell." Cam tries to comfort me but I push her away.

"No but don't you get it Cam? I could have protected her or at least done something. I just stood there and let it happen and what kind of a shitty friend does that?" I search for a tissue but can only find an old used one in my bag, "And now she is confused and scared and Niall's heart is broken. I just wish I could have done something..." My words fade out as I try to catch my breath. 

"Stop it. You didn't do anything wrong. There was nothing the two of us could have done differently." Cam turns into my driveway and I jump out of the car and slam the door behind me. "Manda stop! Come back. We can talk about this!"

I hear Cam's words from inside the car and let them fade out as I walk inside and lock the door behind me. My feet slip out from under me and my spine slides down the front door until I am curled up on the wood floor. The tears keep spilling down my face and I let them because I know I am the only person in the house. 

I guess you know you've got a true best friend when seeing them in pain makes you feel a pain even worse. 

Harry's POV- 4:30 pm:

"Hi! It's Harry!"  I had asked Liam for Amanda's number just to check in with what was going on with her and the whole situation with Eva. We've been talking for the past few days and have formed a friendship which I think is great because she is great. 

"Hey how're you doing?" I can hear Amanda's soft voice through my cell phone speaker, which is odd because she's probably the loudest person I've ever met. 

"Good, good. And yourself?" I reach over to the remote to turn the TV off in the tour bus.

"I'm doing okay I guess... I don't know I just feel like such a terrible person." I can tell Amanda is starting to cry by the way her voice is cracking. 

"Oh no. Why?" I glance over to Zayn who is playing a game on his phone across from me. 

"I just feel so terrible about Eva and what happened. I should've done something to stop it from happening. I'm just so stupid and it's killing me to see her this way." Amanda tries to catch her breath through her quiet sobs. 

"Amanda it's not your fault. If it's anybody's fault it's mine. I was the one who caused the stampede of excited fans!" I have a quick flashback to the moment Eva hit her head on the ground and get chills on my bare arms. 

"No Harry, you were just trying to please the audience and we'd all be liars if we said we hadn't been wanting you to jump down that whole show. You didn't have any bad intentions, the situation just ended very badly." Amanda stops her sobs to help comfort me, which I think is really sweet.

"How about we make a deal." I wait for Amanda to answer but she hesitates.

"Okay, what's the deal?" She waits for a response.

"I promise to forgive myself if you promise to forgive yourself for what happened the night of the concert. Sound like a good deal?" I can hear her breathing at the other end of the line.

"Alright. Deal." Amanda answers after taking a long pause.

"Great. I gotta go help Liam with some song writing so I'll call you soon, okay?"  I look over to Liam who has a notepad and a pen in his hand, along with a puzzled expression on his face.

"Hey, thank you Harry. It really means a lot to me that you took the time to check in." Amanda shows her gratitude. 

"No problem Amanda. Anytime." I press the end call button on my yellow iPhone and move over next to Liam on the couch. 

"What was that all about?" Liam looks at me in the way a sixth grader might look at his friend after he talks to his crush. 

"What do you mean?" I start to blush as Liam studies my facial expression.

"Nevermind. I'm just glad you finally have a girl to write a song about." Liam chuckles as he clicks his pen obnoxiously.

"Oh you think... no I don't like Amanda... Liam you can't be serious." I start to stutter and question whether I do have feelings for a girl I just met and only spent two days with. 

"You don't need to explain. Just write." Liam hands me a notebook and a blue ball-point pen, and I start writing.