Do You See Me Now ??

Eyes closed

I was beginning to regain consciousness. My eyes hadn't opened but I heard voices. I recognized one of the voices of my mother but the other voice didn't ring a bell to me. I decided to pretend I was still asleep since it sounded like a heated discussion and honestly I wanted to know what they were possibly discussing.

"You kept her from me all these years, Liz. Do you honestly believe that I wouldn't take her away now that I have a chance. A chance to know my daughter."

   My mothers reply was a mere sob. I was shocked to say the least ,this whole time my dad wasn't really my dad.

"Did he not realize she wasn't his daughter? She looks just like me only with your eye color. So tell me this Liz did he know?"

"I found out when I was three months pregnant that I was having a baby. We weren't talking at the time. When I had the affair we had already stopped talking. He came home early the day I finally took the pregnancy test and found me holding onto it. I told him about us. He didn't leave because of Aaron, we I always told the kids I didn't believe in divorce."

    The room became silent. I don't know how long it lasted, my mind was preoccupied with this information. I realized why my dad hated me. I still didn't understand why my  parents never divorced, were older so what was stopping them?

"I know that Sienna would have it better with you, believe me I know but she's still my daughter. I might not show it to her but I really do love her. I just never realized how shitty we were towards her until now. That's why I called you. Life is short and I think she should know you. Should have someone show her the love she deserves. I'm a terrible mom I know that, believe me I do. This whole time I ignored her and let Aaron miss-treat her because of my mistake. Getting pregnant with her caused my marriage more problems then I originally had, but it wasn't her fault so we were all wrong to treat her like it was." She said in a mere whisper.

" I'm taking her and when I do you won't see her. Do you hear me Liz. You don't deserve her. Did you not read what was written in her journal. I'm glad they were able to salvage her bookbag. If they didn't get it out right after they got her out I would have never understood what she felt. The way she was okay with her life ending. I missed so much in her life. I wasn't there to treat her how a father should treat his daughter. To show her she was my princess." My real father cried out in misery. "I was always jealous when I'd see my brother in law and niece thinking when will I have that type of relationship. To have someone look at me like I was their hero.I wasn't there for her because of you. Your a selfish bitch I hope you know that. You, your so called husband, and son belong in a special place in hell. I bet it's already reserved for you." The chair squeaked and a few seconds later the door opened then closed.

My mothers cries rung out in the silent room. The only other noise was the heart monitor.  I felt cold hands frame my face and then a light feather kiss on my forehead.

"I love you Sienna. I'm so sorry. I should have told him sooner. I really should have. You never deserved any of it? I'm sorry, Aaron's sorry. He's been crying in the waiting room for the past three days.I love you." She sobbed into me once she embraced my body in an awkward hug since I was laying flatly on the bed so it was like a half hug. Her tears soaked my gown. The whole time my eyes stayed closed. Even when I felt the warm moister of tears in my closed eyes. A tear slipped but mom didn't notice she just kept crying. Repeating I love you over and over.

  It was to late now. I'll always love my mom but the hatred was there. She wasn't there when I needed her the most. Like when I got my first period, or when I told my forth grade crush Clarke that I liked him and he laughed in my face. Or even when Jen died and I need my mom. This accident made her realize I was a living person with feelings but it made me want to get away from them. My fathers right I shouldn't be okay with my life ending. I'm young and there's so much to still experience.then thoughts of Ms.James invades my mind was she okay?

   It's time I open my eyes...